Ep.59- Choose Your Hard

In this episode, Kiera and Lia dive into finding your own Emerald City — the place where your dreams come true. They explore the idea that even though the path to your dreams may be challenging and longer than expected, as long as you're moving in the direction of your dream life, you're heading in the right direction.

They reveal the incredible power of a single decision, as it has the potential to transform your life completely. All it takes is one moment of bravery and a little push forward. Sure, it may be tough, and it won't always be a walk in the park, but remember, you're just exchanging one form of difficulty for another.

Kiera and Lia's mission with this podcast is to inspire and remind you that you're never stuck. There are always other options available to you. By sharing stories and insights, they empower you to break free from limitations and explore the limitless possibilities that await you.

Tune in to this episode and embark on a journey of self-discovery and transformation. Discover the courage within you, embrace the challenges, and unlock the doors to your very own Emerald City. Your bliss life is closer than you think.

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Hosts: Kiera Masters and Lia Bliss

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Lia on LinkedIn and Instagram

Podcast Manager: Kimberly Smith

Find Lia’s book here: Everything Is Your Fault by Lia Bliss

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Transcript

Intro:

You’re listening to Master Your Bliss Life. Join Kiera Masters and Lia Bliss as they dive into the magical, mysterious, and mundane elements of life, helping you to master your purpose and find your bliss.

Kiera

I don’t know.

Lia

What do you want to talk about?

Kiera

She always does this to me.

Lia

Kiera is literally currently, literally, actively creating a vision board for her own dream life.

Kiera

Yeah.

Lia

She’s like, “Can you help me with this?” So, hot girls…

Kiera

And then she says, “Record.”

Lia

What do you want to talk about? Record. Heheheh. Um, so, was it yesterday morning or this morning? We were sitting on the couch drinking coffee and Scott’s like, “Hey look, hot girls walking. Hot girl walk.”

Kiera

Ye-ah.

Lia

Yes, the connection has been made. I love this. So, for all the hot girls walking, Kiera is actively chasing her bliss life.

Kiera

Yes Ma’am. 

Lia

Ok, tell me about, so you’ve started aesthetician school.

Kiera

Yes, I did.

Lia

And, not only is that like amazing, chasing your dreams, going after what you want, but also I would say it’s – what’s the thing called? The unintended consequences. You have had, and you probably perceived this as something that would come up, but now you’re dealing with the actual actuality of it. Of redefining your priorities and schedule.

Kiera

Oh, yeah.

Lia

Trying to fit it in. Cuz you’re in school how many hours a week now?

Kiera

I’m in school let’s see five days a week, eight hours a day.

Lia

So 40 hours.

Kiera

40 hours.

Lia

So 40, so you added 40 hours a week of shit that you gotta get done on top of all the other shit that you were already committed to.

Kiera

Yeah. Yep, to my already busy schedule.

Lia

So, what challenges have come up and how have you dealt with them?

Kiera

Um, well, challenges with spending good, quality time with family has been really hard. You know, coming home, cleaning up the house, making sure dinner gets done, everybody’s fed, everybody’s bathed, getting them all to bed, making sure I’m getting my homework done. Like, there have been quite a few challenges. I have two days off a week. Right now I’m going to school Monday through Thursday and then I have alternating Fridays and Saturdays every other week for spa days.

Lia

Ah.

Kiera

So, it’s like, every other week I have a Friday off. I also had to get my son into school more. Four days a week. Into daycare/school. And so trying to juggle the financials of that has been really tough, but I’m making it work. And so I’m making every Friday my day with him to like, we go out, I have him that day, we go out and we spend time together. Then I’ll do Saturday class that day, my boyfriend will have all the kids. And the every other week when I’m on spa days on Friday, my mom is taking my son so I don’t have to put him in school an extra day. So, I’ve got quite a few things figured out that were stressful in the beginning. But it’s really prioritizing time with family and time for myself. I think that’s a huge one is I have not been to the gym in three weeks, except for one day a week. Which you know, you all know I go four to five times a week.

Lia

Woof. Lifestyle change.

Kiera

Which, yeah, which, and it’s my therapy too. Like, it’s all the things. It’s my mental therapy, my mental clarity. Like, just to be sane.

Lia

Yeah. I think I read something, or I watched a documentary called The Mind Explained. Emma Stone is the narrator actually. It’s delightful.

Kiera

Oh! I love her voice.

Lia

I watched it with my kid. I love her voice.

Kiera

Yeah, love it.

Lia

And, we were watching it and – I think it’s what it was – we watch a lot of documentaries in my house about mental health. Cuz that’s, you know, what I’m into.

Kiera

It’s important. Yeah.

Lia

That’s what I’m into. But they were saying that exercise is one and a half times more impactful on mental health – specifically depression – one and a half times more effective over medication alone.

Kiera

Medication. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I mean I, not saying everybody should get off their medication.

Lia

No, God, no.

Kiera

They should be on their medication, but I ended up getting off my medication because it made me feel not myself at all. So I ended up talking to my doctor, so I got off my medication and started going to the gym more, and I do feel better than I did when I was on my medication. But it’s different for everybody.

Lia

And even like I would say…

Kiera

Or adding it to the medication.

Lia

Yes. Supplement. Why would you not do everything. Like, we, right? We know that everything is your fault. We take radical accountability here. We know that the opportunity to supplement and add as many healthy behaviors is going to be more impactful.

Kiera

Absolutely.

Lia

So, school, big change.

Kiera

Yep.

Lia

Gym less. Big change. Family life, big change. Where has been the best…

Kiera

Financial.

Lia

Financial strug – well, not struggle, but like, change.

Kiera

Yeah.

Lia

You’ve had more respon – you’ve taken on a significant amount of responsibility very recently, and…

Kiera

While also kind of letting go of my needs that I need for myself. But, you know, I  said I don’t want to overwhelm myself so much in the beginning, so I thought, I’m just going to skip the gym for the first week or two so I can get used to this new schedule. You know, maybe three weeks, 21 create like a, you can create a new habit, right? I was like, maybe three weeks, you know, I’ll get used to it. Things will be better. And then I’ll start going to the gym in the morning. I’ll wake up at 5:30, I wake up at six now. I’ll wake up at 5:30, I’ll go to they gym, get a half an hour workout in. My son usually wakes up at 6:30 or 7. Of course, this week, when I planned on getting up early to go to the gym, my son is getting up at 5:15. Out of nowhere. It’s like he knew. He knew mom was going to get up and leave, so he was like, Well, I’m up.

Lia

Asshole. My son doesn’t, so he wakes up, so we don’t have to leave for school until 8:00. 8:15. And we’ve got like a 20 minute commute, which is more, I’d say above average for Utah.

Kiera

Yeah. Yeah.

Lia

But pretty slim for most places. We leave at 8:15. Homie wakes up at 6 every day like clockwork. Except for the days when we have extra special fun things planned. And we were going to go do a sleepover party, right? And so, that morning he wakes up at 5AM. 5:00 in the morning.

Kiera

Of course.

Lia

I’m awake. I’m excited.

Kiera

He’s so excited.

Lia

Where it’s like that <inaudible> feeling. I’m like, Dude, you are killing me. What are we going to do for frickin’ three hours? I’m so bored.

Kiera

Did you guys make breakfast together?

Lia

No. I mean, I make oatmeal for him in the morning.

Kiera

Oh. That doesn’t take very long.

Lia

I’m a liar. I told him that craisins are just raisins, and I mix them in his oatmeal. And so now he’s like, Mom, I want oatmeal and raisins. And I’m like, You betcha. Haha. Wink wink. Oh well.

Kiera

Your raisins are just a little more red. There just different colors.

Lia

He doesn’t even notice. He doesn’t even notice.

Kiera

That’s awesome.

Lia

It’s… those are the lies that parents tell their children, right? Like, I’ll make pork chops and I’m like, It’s chicken. Eat it. It’s fine. He’s like, Ew, why… He got like a big old piece of fat on his pork chop and was like, This chicken is raw, this is gross. I was like aw dammit. It’s fine, son. It’s just the fat. So.

Kiera

This is raw. Mom, you didn’t cook this enough. 

Lia

Could you imagine?

Kiera

Just throw it in the microwave for… oh my gosh that’s funny.

Lia

It’s medium rare chicken, shut up.

Kiera

I’m trying to think of a time I told Alarek something was, something else than what it was, I’m.. Oh. Yeah, there is one I can think of recently. I have to give him ExLax chocolate every once in a while to get things rolling. And one day he was like, I brought it to him and I was like, Here’s some chocolate. And he was like, No I don’t want it mommy it’s medicine. I’m like, What are you talking about? It’s not medicine. It’s just chocolate. Here I’ll eat the other half. And I break it off and I’m like, pretend to eat it. Put it back in the bag. And he’s like, Oh, ok yum.

Lia

That’s a bonus.

Kiera

No it’s just chocolate it’s not medicine. Why would they make medicine in chocolate?

Lia

In chocolate form!

Kiera

Like, that’s just like the silliest thing.

Lia

That’s dumb. Who would do that?

Kiera

Who would do that? And then the melatonin sleep gummies. No, I’m never going to tell him it makes him go to sleep.

Lia

Oh my gosh, one time, so I used to buy CBD gummies from this brand called Sunday Scaries.

Kiera

Oh my gosh I remember this one.

Lia

Excellent brand. I love it. I would highly recommend it. So I bought a bottle of gummies and they look like, they’re gummy bears. They are gummy bears that are high concentrations of CBD. And there’s no THC. It’s just CBD. It’s like for sleep relaxation, it’s supposed to help you just kind of mellow out. Well, of course, the child-proof cap didn’t work. My, at the time, three-year-old ate half the jar. Not, granted, not only was it like, it’s like 50 bucks a jar. And so I’m like, Ahhhh. But then I’m like, Oh my God, my kid’s going to OD.

Kiera

Did you call anybody?

Lia

So I called the company and I was like, My kid just ate half the bottle what do I do? Do I need to take him to the hospital? Like, I was a new parent, first time, didn’t know anything, didn’t know any better. And they’re like, and the lady was just kind of like, Uh, no. He’s going to be really hyper, and then he’s going to sleep really good. And then I’m like, Oooo did I just find a solution for doctors?

Kiera

Right?

Lia

But no, don’t give your kids.

Kiera

No, don’t do that. My son could use one right now. I think he’s on the outs of naptime. So, he’s having quiet time in his room right now.

Lia

It’s important.

Kiera

Yes.

Lia

We still do that to a degree. Speaking of self care and a change of schedule.

Kiera

Here it comes.

Lia

Somehow always, I always forget, not that I actually forget, but the winters in utah are so long and the school year is so regimented that it’s like, this is forever. This is how it’s going to be forever. This is my life. It’s just cold and shitty and we go to school every day and that’s just our life.

Kiera

Yep.

Lia

And then summer comes, and it’s like, Oh, oh, things are different now. But like, I work from home. Luckily. Because I couldn’t even fathom paying for childcare at this point. Like, I don’t know what I would do.

Kiera

Yeah.

Lia

Cuz he’s, he’ll be nine, and it’s like, well, I don’t even, I’m so lucky. And by lucky I mean I worked my ass off to get to a point where I didn't thave to worry about that because I work from home. But it’s like, Oh what am I going to have him do while I’m working?

Kiera

Right?

Lia

That’s, like I’ve got to figure that out. Right? And then, between travel and coparenting, split time, we do fifty-fifty custody, and then like any other extra-curricular activities I may be participating in… wink-wink, nudge, nudge.

Kiera

Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

Lia

I have so, we don’t have time on this episode, but I’ve got some updates. Anyway, but we’re getting off topic, which we always do. Which, the topic is, when you have a big chane in your lifestyle, I think one to start, it’s like, one of my favorite lifting coaches always said, You can have everything you ever wanted, you just cant have everything at the same time.

Kiera

Yep.

Lia

And you right now, you’re like in the grind.

Kiera

Yes.

Lia

Where the rest of your life isn’t going to be 40 hours a week in school.

Kiera

Yeah, no.

Lia

You’re doing that hard work. Working your ass off to get to the point where you can set your own schedule, you can book your own clients, you can live the lifestyle you want to live.

Kiera

That I want to live, mhmm. It’s just going to take some time to get there.

Lia

Yeah. But you can’t, I see too many women that are just like, Well… there’s a girl that I know who she wants a lifestyle. She wants to be a kept woman. She wants to be a rich housewife. And that’s like legit what she wants to do with her life. But she’s like pushing 40 and has never been married. And I’m just like, Girl, you might need to come up with a backup plan.

Kiera

Yeah.

Lia

And, in today’s world, women are more educated, making more money than ever before. It’s getting to a point where “traditional gender roles” aren’t a thing that you can lean on.

Kiera

Yeah.

Lia

As much as we could even ten years ago. Even five years ago. Right?

Kiera

Right.

Lia

Because, if I want to be the primary breadwinner, I can’t like, I just have never been… it’s interesting. I was talking to my friend about this last night. Where I can’t fathom a woman who would put her child in a position to be in danger. So,  we were watching a show, and the mom was living with and dating this dude who was an alcoholic, and he hit her, and it was a really toxic environment for the kid. And I was like, I could never imagine putting my, like, putting my kid in a situation where he would have to go through that.

Kiera

Yeah.

Lia

My friend pointed out, Well, that’s because you’re smart. I was like, That has nothing to do with it.

Kiera

No. It’s like common sense. I mean it’s just…

Lia

To us. But he had a really good point, that it’s like…

Kiera

Ok.

Lia

Some women just like, and this is really what our mission is with this podcast, is to remind everyone that you are not stuck. And you have other options.

Kiera

Yep.

Lia

You do not have to live with a man who is mean to you because you feel as though there is no other option. There is always another option.

Kiera

An option.

Lia

Literally call me. Literally call me, specifically. Because I will get you all figured out.

Kiera

Will help figure it out.

Lia

We’ll get you out of the situation, we’ll make a plan. But that, and he was like, Some women literally think that that’s their option and they can’t, they can’t get there mentally or emotionally, or confidence element, to realize that they deserve and can create better.

Kiera

Yeah.

Lia

And, for you and I that is mind-boggling.

Kiera

Yeah.

Lia

Completely unfathomable. How could you, and not, and like, having a kid is an additional reason to figure that shit out. But for yourself, if you are a single woman, who is in a relationship that is not healthy, you have another option. Your, it might be hard, and it might not be as easy. You’re just changing hard. Right?

Kiera

Yep.

Lia

You’re just swapping out a hard. But I would suggest, like you’re doing right now, that going through a period of working your ass off, and it not being your dream life.

Kiera

Yep.

Lia

Because my dream life is not going to school 40 hours a week. Fuck that.

Kiera

Yep, I didn’t want to go back to school. I mean, but to do what I want to do I had to go back to school. So, I keep telling myself, I’m just about done with one month. It’s eight months. Eight months. Less than a year.

Lia

Less than a year. And you can…

Kiera

I’m almost done with the first month.

Lia

Yes.

Kiera

Only seven months left to go. It will go by so fast. And yes, it’s going to be a lot of hard work, but as soon as I’m done, it’s going to be life-changing. So, I’ve just got to weigh out the…

Lia

Literally before your next birthday.

Kiera

Yeah.

Lia

You’ll be done.

Kiera

I’ll be done, yeah.

Lia

And, I heard a quote. And, I love this quote. And I use it on my people all the time. It’s don’t overestimate what you can do in a year, but don’t underestimate what you can do in three.

Kiera

Yes. Yes.

Lia

You can literally, like you are one decision away from a completely different life. You can literally go back to school, change your life, move different cities, meet the love of your life. You can do anything with one moment of bravery. And a little bit of push though. A little bit of that, Fuck I hate this but, let’s just do it.

Kiera

Gotta do it. Let’s do it. It’s the thing that’s going to take me closer to…

Lia

Where I want to be.

Kiera

… my goals in life. 

Lia

Yes, and it’s that same thing that we’ve been talking about, if you know what your Emerald City is, and you’re following your path, just because it’s a hard path, and just because it takes a lot longer than you would like it to, as long as you’re moving in the direction towards your dream life, you’re moving in the right direction.

Kiera

Yep.

Lia

I love it.

Kiera

Love it, love it, love it.

Lia

I’m so proud of you.

Kiera

Thank you.

Lia

It’s so exciting. I’m so proud of you.

Kiera

Thank you. And you’re going to come in and get some treatments.

Lia

Oh my gosh, the unintended benefit for me is that I will now get to have all of the facials, all of the beauty treatments. Become an injectionist, and then I’ll just get free Botox. I’ll trade you for something. I don’t know what.

Kiera

I don’t know what.

Lia

Something. Lip filler, the whole nine yards. We’ll do it.

Kiera

That’s another at least two years of school, but it’s my plan. We’ll just see. I’m going to take like a year of like getting my business going, and getting a good schedule going, and then I’m going to, if it’s something I want to do, is get my nursing degree so I can do injections.

Lia

I love it. This episode, like all episodes, sponsored by Lunar Herbals.

Kiera

Lunar Herbals.

Lia

Master your bliss life, get yourself towards that Elixir of Bliss. Take advantage of the Elixir of Rest. Right? You were even saying that taking some time off from the gym has made you stronger because rest…

Kiera

Yep.

Lia

… does make us better.

Kiera

It does.

Lia

Ok hot girls, I love you so much. Enjoy your walk. Think about the hard things that are going to get you to the easy things.

Kiera 

Yes.

Lia

K, we’ll see you real soon. Love you!

Kiera

Love you, bye.

Ending:

You have been listening to Master Your Bliss Life. Make sure to check out the show notes for any relevant links and follow Kiera and Lia on Instagram and LinkedIn.