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Master Your Bliss Life
Welcome to Master Your Bliss Life Podcast. No topic is off-limits as we talk all things magical, mysterious, and mundane in life. It is our mission to help you master your purpose and find your bliss.
Master Your Bliss Life
Ep.61- Find Fulfillment with Maggie Bliss
Join Lia and her guest, Maggie Bliss, in this exciting episode filled with double the bliss. Together they help us discern the difference between Type 1 and Type 2 FUN.
Learn to emphasize the importance of mindfulness and being present in the moment. By shifting our focus towards the Type 2 fun we want to experience, we gain the ability to prioritize and think long-term.
Lia and Maggie invite us to "Do the hard thing." By embracing challenges and pushing ourselves outside our comfort zones, we can unlock a whole new level of growth and fulfillment.
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Host: Lia Bliss
Guest: Maggie on LinkedIn
Podcast Manager: Kimberly Smith
Find Lia’s book here: Everything Is Your Fault by Lia Bliss
Lunar Herbals Use code Kiera10 or Lia10 for $10 off your first order
Intro:
You’re listening to Master Your Bliss Life. Join Kiera Masters and Lia Bliss as they dive into the magical, mysterious, and mundane elements of life, helping you to master your purpose and find your bliss.
Lia
Today on Master Your Bliss Life, we’ve got a double dose of bliss. Lia Bliss joined by Maggie Bliss, who has just informed me that she has had the hiccups and can’t get rid of them. And…
Maggie
Watch, they’re going to be gone now that I said that outloud.
Lia
Except, do you want to know the greatest secret to getting rid of the hiccups?
Maggie
Telling someone you have the hiccups?
Lia
No. Telling yourself that you’re not a fish.
Maggie
I am not a fish.
Lia
Now, wiggle your toes. Nope, nope, don’t act like a fish. Wiggle your toes. Feel your feet on the ground. Take a deep breath. Remind yourself that you breath air through your lungs. You’re not a fish, you walk on land, you roll around in the dirt, you love sunshine. Yep.
Maggie
And they are gone.
Lia
And they’re gone.
Maggie
I tried holding my diaphragm like for 10 minutes straight. And nope.
Lia
Nope. Nope. So, I watched this TikTok where, I saw something the other day that was like, Millennials and Gen Zs making fun of Boomers for believing everything they see on Facebook, and yet, if someone tells us in a TikTok, gospel truth.
Maggie
Facts.
Lia
Fax. No printer. So, yeah, Jordan the Stallion, go follow him on all the platforms, he is the president of the fast food secrets club. He told me – and by me I mean he made a TikTok about it – that if you tell yourself you’re not a fish, your hiccups go away.
Maggie
Well, we just proved it.
Lia
I have never had the hiccups more that twice in a row now. Like, I hiccup two times and I’m like, What the hell I’m not a fish. And they go away.
Maggie
Well, it worked. We’re proof it worked.
Lia
Proof. I have proof. Live and living color. Maggie was like, Don’t start yet I have the hiccups, we’ve got a problem. Double dose of bliss. Welcome to the podcast. Oh how ya feelin’?
Maggie
I’m good.
Lia
Happy to be here?
Maggie
Yes, very happy.
Lia
Happy to be alive? Excellent. Also, there may be an unexpected guest on the podcast because my son called me from school. He’s like in tears. “Mom, I busted my knee playing football. I need you to come get me.” Crying. The nurse was like, He’s pretty upset. I get to school. The 20 minute drive home. We get home. He hops out of the car and he goes, “Mom, you know, I think I’m just going to walk it off. I think I’m good.”
Maggie
Oh, he just didn’t want to be in school.
Lia
And so I was like, What do you mean you’re just going to walk it off? You should, if that’s the case, you should have stayed at school. And he’s like, “But, mom, I didn’t have that mindset before.”
Maggie
Wow.
Lia
Right?
Maggie
We’re geting ‘em young.
Lia
Ruined. He’s using my own tactics against me. It’s a whole level of parenting I wasn’t prepared for. But, Maggie, thanks for being here.
Maggie
Thanks for having me.
Lia
We just spent the week making core memories together.
Maggie
We did. We jumped in the ocean.
Lia
We did. And it wasn’t like a hot summer’s day where we were like, Man, we should go to the ocean. No. It was a rainy, cold, cloudy San Diego day in early May.
Maggie
Up 60 degrees. Inside and outside the water.
Lia
Yeah. And she’s like, We’re getting in the water immediately. And so we just put on swimsuits and drove to the beach right then. Jumped in the ocean and drove home.
Maggie
Yeah, it was great. It was great. It was perfect because the water was the same temperature as the air, so we were neither cold nor hot.
Lia
Yeah, there was no change in temperature. Granted, we got into the ocean and our legs instantly went numb.
Maggie
Yeah, perfect. Couldn’t feel anything.
Lia
Perfect. Couldn’t feel a thing. Did we get our heads in? Yes. Was it only one time? Also yes.
Maggie
Yes. Did we immediately go home and take hot showers? Yes.
Lia
Yes. I had taken a hot shower the day before. So the weirdest thing about our family. You know, what, so we grew up together, and I feel like when you have siblings that have a huge age gap. Like, between me and our other full sibling, we’re 10 years apart. And we really like grew up differently.
Maggie
Yes.
Lia
But you and I grew up pretty much the same.
Maggie
Yes.
Lia
And it’s that whole nature vs nurture thing. Where in nature vs nurture does a love of water boarding oneself come into play?
Maggie
I don’t know, but it is how both of us like self-soothing when we are ill or not feeling good. Is laying in the shower with a washcloth over our face, water hitting us. It’s just like, super zen. You can’t do anything but think about your breathing, and potentially fall asleep. Because it’s so comfy.
Lia
It’s so relaxing. So, I don’t know what sort of like group trauma we went through, but we self sooth through torture.
Maggie
It’s not torture.
Lia
It’s so relaxing.
Maggie
It’s light misting. It’s like a light misting.
Lia
I think your husband would disagree. But, I agree.
Maggie
That’s true. That’s true.
Lia
He would disagree. But it’s fine. So, we, while we were having these core adult memory creation moments in San Diego, we decided to do a podcast episode. And, it’s kind of one of those like, What are we going to talk about? Maggie, because she loves me, has listened to exactly zero episodes of the podcast.
Maggie
Exactly zero. Yes.
Lia
Exactly zero. Probably won’t even listen to this one.
Maggie
Probably not, no. Cuz I hate hearing my voice. But, when you listen to your family’s podcast. Like our father has a podcast, you have a podcast, it just sounds like lecturing. So, if I wanted to get lectured, I’d just call either of you. Why listen to the podcast. But, for everyone else, it’s great wonderful content. You guys have good thoughts but I just can go right to the source.
Lia
Right to the source of the lecture. That was, one of the girls that works for me and our father, she texts me the other day and was like, “Lia, my boyfriend and I just broke up, which podcast episode should I listen to?”
Maggie
Aw.
Lia
And I just called her. I just called her. I was like, Aw.
Maggie
Yeah, straight to the source.
Lia
Claire-Bear, you don’t need to listen to an episode. I’ll give it to you straight. Straight from <inaudible>.
Maggie
What was the advice you gave her?
Lia
Um, well, it’s hard because… I mean, you were there. You listened to the conversation. But, not to tell a story that’s not mine. But, at the end of the day, it came down to, she did not feel like a priority. And there’s only so many ways or times or attempts that you can make to tell your significant other, “Hey, I don’t feel valued.” And even if quality time isn’t your love language, the, kind of the straw that broke the camel’s back in this situation was that, of the four weekends in the month, he only had one free to spend with her one-on-one. No kids, no family, no nothing. And he actively chose to give that up to go spend time with his family for the third week in a row. Which, we love family, but it’s hard not to feel less important. As she said, “You know, I’m fine being the number two or even the number three priority. After, you know, your child” – cuz he had a kid – “or your job. I get it. But if I’m going to come after like your cousins, and your friends, and…” That was with my ex-fiance. Right? I knew it was over when I felt jealous of his drug dealer. Cuz he got to spend more time with him.
Maggie
Horrible. Yeah, I think prioritization, I think so few people realize how important it is. And like, me and my husband are thinking about having kids, and like one thing I am really scared about is like not being able to prioritize each other because we have to prioritize our child. That seems silly, but like, I like my relationship with my husband as it is.
Lia
Right?
Maggie
I don’t want to change it, but I also want kids. So I want to make sure that I prioritize him and he prioritizes me.
Lia
I think that’s a very common, like, double income no kids problem. Like, thought problem. Cuz, we’ve talked about on this podcast before, the struggle of having like a blended family. Because with a blended family, right? So, if I was dating a guy who had kids, it would be, and we got married, right? I would need to spend time with him one-on-one, with my own child one-on-one, with the whole family one-on-one, and probably form independent relationships with his kids one-on-one. But then you also need girls night, and friends, and alone time. Like, that becomes too much. That is a chaotic, right? And then your family has to come in there. It’s chaotic energy, but I think…
Maggie
Honestly, power to the people who do blended families.
Lia
So much.
Maggie
Like, they have every single day they have to stack rank what’s the priority. And then hopefully over time it all evens out and everyone is happy. But, like, I’m stressed about it and I’m like happily married to my husband. You know? No kids yet.
Lia
With, and ain’t nobody got kids.
Maggie
Yeah.
Lia
It’s yeah. I think it’s a, and I’ve been reading more about this, that people need to stop thinking about time as a 24-hour cycle, and start… because I’ve been sitting down with my boyfriend – oh my gosh, you heard it here first people.
Maggie
Congrats.
Lia
Anyway, so exciting. So, how am I going to tell all my other boyfriends? What the heck? It’s fine. Bye.
Maggie
That concept of thinking about things not in the now? I mean, this is semi-related. But just, the concept of, like, time is longevity. Like, when I sit down to think about my life or what a decision is, like, kids, or even like, do I want to go on a run today or not? Do I want to, you know, spend this hundred dollars on this activity or not? I try not to think about it as what’s going to make me happy today, but over the longevity of my life, what is going to maximize my full life?
Lia
Yes.
Maggie
I don’t think a lot of people think about it in that way. And I started thinking about this a lot because of Daniel, I don’t remember his last name. He’s a psychology professor at Princeton. He wrote Thinking Fast and Slow. And he talks about like…
Lia
Not Daniel Pink?
Maggie
No. Um, it starts with a K.
Lia
Ok, I’ll look it up.
Maggie
But, like, if you’re making a good investment, you have to think about like how much money are you spending over the duration of your life vs like right now.
Lia
Yeah.
Maggie
So I think prioritization…
Lia
Daniel Kahneman.
Maggie
Yep, that’s it.
Lia
Yeah, I think that’s a good point. Time really shifted for me when I was hanging out with one of my not boyfriends. My darling, darling friend. And I realized that, cuz I look at him as a vibrant, energetic, youthful even human being who just has so much passion for life and lives it so fully. And I realized that by the time – and our kids are the same age – so his kids are roughly the same age as Marshall. And Marshall will be nine very soon. And I realize that I will be the same age that he is now when Marshall is a Sophomore in college.
Maggie
Crazy.
Lia
Crazy. I’m like, Oh, damn, I got lots of time. Like I’m not even…
Maggie
Lots.
Lia
A lot, a lot. Right? And so like where, yes. So, prioritize things. So, my boyfriend and I have been talking a lot about like, um, like our goals. And how we’re looking at things more in a month cycle, than we are in a 24-hour cycle. And what’s so fascinating, is that the way that the day is set up, right? Like, most people work out in the morning, go to work, go to happy hour, and then go home and have dinner with their family. The reason that that is set up that way, is because it directly correlates to the male hormonal cycle.
Maggie
Of course.
Lia
Of course, I mean of course. But, like, the way that men’s hormones are. Like their energy levels are high in the morning, their ability to focus on kind of menial tasks is higher, and then as the day goes on, their hormonal system will shift and they’ll want to be more sociable, and it’s a lot more about the connectivity. And then at night it’s all about that snuggly warm be-with-the-family feeling. Women, on the other hand, go through the exact same hormonal cycle on a 28 day cycle.
Maggie
Yeah, the dramatically different. I think any female listening to this knows that like the week before your period, you don’t want to talk to anyone. No one.
Lia
Right? And there’s some weeks…
Maggie
And then right after…
Lia
Social time.
Maggie
… you could climb Mt. Everest, no prep.
Lia
No prep. Raw doggin’ Mt. Everest. No thanks. Not for me.
Maggie
I did a half marathon that way. Right after my period, feeling hyped, did the whole thing. Could I do it the week before my period? Absolutely not. Absolutely not.
Lia
Did you really? Did you time that on purpose or was that just like happenstancidly?
Maggie
No, it just happenstancidly, but it’s the only way I got through it. Did I still cry? Absolutely.
Lia
So, let’s talk about your half marathon. Because you did it when you were 29. Right?
Maggie
I did, yes.
Lia
Highest percentage of people who run half marathons or marathons are in age where the number ends in 9.
Maggie
Makes sense. I wanted to do something before my 30th.
Lia
Boom, Right? And that’s like such an easy thing to check off. Like, it’s such a “Look at this thing that I accomplished.” Did I do it? Yes. Check the box, got the trophy, did the thing. The 9’s are when we’re most likely to do those things. But you brought up this concept to me while I was in San Diego, that that was obviously a terrible time. Not fun. Not great.
Maggie
In the moment.
Lia
In the moment. Right? The idea… to supplant yourself back into the middle… like, mile 8 of that race… no. Get me outta there. But, it’s the memory of it is fun. And, that is something you identified as type 2 fun. So please explain the difference between type 1 fun and type 2 fun. Different than diabetes.
Maggie
K, these are my definitions, which can differ from maybe the internet, maybe other people’s versions. I don’t know who did the actual studies or came up with these terminology. Just astriscking that there.
Lia
You are not a doctor.
Maggie
Um, type 1… no. No research. But, type 1 fun is things you do in the moment that give you joy. And I’m talking about like in, in the moment. So, this is like going to a bar and drinking with our friends. This is why we do this. Because you’re having a great time.
Lia
Eating cake.
Maggie
Yeah, eating sweets. Super fun. Playing games. Um, something that is giving you joy and nurishment in the exact moment. So, it could be like reading a book. Like a casual thriller. Right?
Lia
Like a fun beach read. So, if we were to look at this scientifically. Hormonally. Chemically. It would be that while you’re doing the thing, you’re getting the serotonin bump.
Maggie
Yep, yep. And then type 2 fun is things that, in the moment are like Why in the world did I decide to do this? But the endorphins that come afterwards, and last afterwards, is what makes the type 2 fun. So, running a half marathon. Yeah, is running fun? No. I don’t think any person on this entire planet, like, in the moment – unless you’re hitting runner’s high, which is a type of type 1 fun that keeps you going in the type 2 fun.
Lia
You can get to.
Maggie
Um, it’s like not… it’s like not as fun as eating cake. Never will be. Never will be. But, the effects afterwards, that every time you re-tap into that memory, that type 2 fun, you re-enjoy it. So, things that are type 2 fun: running, mountain biking, hiking Mt. Everest. That’s why people do these crazy adventures.
Lia
Like the Spartan fun-runs. And like 75 Hard.
Maggie
Yeah, yeah. Exactly. But it doesn’t even have to be physical. Like, it could be like, reading a new book that’s really challenging for your mind and you have to like sit and digest every page. Like, that’s going to take forever and in the moment you’re like, Ah my brain. But then afterwards you’re like, Wow, I’m so glad I did that.
Lia
I did that. It’s like a… so in high school, my – I don’t know if you know this – so for my senior prom. So where we grew up, we did a thing called “day dates.” Where you would have your date during the day, and you would go do like a casual activity, and then everyone would go home and get dressed in their prom outfits and then go to prom. So, for my day date for my Senior Prom, we baled hay.
Maggie
Yeah, type 2 fun.
Lia
Type 2 fun. Because it sucked. No, like, I’m a princess. I don’t, I mean.
Maggie
Yeah, who wants to bale hay?
Lia
But, there is something so rewarding about seeing the literal visual representation of your hard work and being like, “I did the damn thing.” It’s that checkbox element. Uh, I dated a guy many years ago who was in rehab for heroine. And I mean he had been out for like 8 years. So, he wasn’t actively in rehab. Let’s… baselevel set. But, he talked about that in rehab, that they would have these people do a lot of these things. Because your brain go so addicted to type 1 fun… aka drugs.
Maggie
Yeah, I would think like scrolling on TikTok is a type 1 fun. Scrolling on Instagram.
Lia
Right? You don’t ever get done with that and think like, God that was such a great time.
Maggie
No.
Lia
Except for learning useful life skills about the hiccups hack.
Maggie
Yes.
Lia
That was great. One. But like, how many “one” videos do you remember?
Maggie
Never. Have you? Yeah, you don’t.
Lia
You don’t. So, right? So, the drug of, right? Any addictive behavior is type 1 fun. And when you live so long in type 1 fun, you have to retrain your brain how to access type 2 fun.
Maggie
Yeah, it’s really hard to get going. It’s really, really hard. But like to bring it full circle and talk about thinking about your life over progression of time. Not just 24 hours cycle, not a one month cycle, but like type 2 fun can give you rewards. Rewarding benefits over your entire life.
Lia
Like, having babies.
Maggie
Yeah. So, it’s like hard to make a choice for type 2 fun during the days, especially in a male-dominated 24 hour cycle.
Lia
Yes.
Maggie
But, like, type 2 fun at the end of the day, I don’t know, it’s better.
Lia
I think, honestly, I think having kids is type 2 fun.
Maggie
Yeah, probably. Day to day.
Lia
Sucks.
Maggie
Especially those babies. But.
Lia
Yes. I was at a party on Saturday. And these are people that I like partied with pre-COVID, and all of them had kids. And so, we’re sitting there. So I’m like the old mom now. Cuz my kid’s way older than all theirs. Theirs are like two years old, max. And they were telling like their birth stories. Which, women get around, we love telling our birth stories. Cuz it’s type 2 fun.
Maggie
I’m going to take your word on that one.
Lia
It’s type 2 fun. Because I think about it. Like, I was so miserable when I was pregnant. I also didn’t have any of the same tools to care for myself as I do today. And so my mental, emotional, and physical health was just shot to shit. I was also in like a really high stress pregnancy environment. Despite my son’s dad’s best efforts to create a loving environment. Just the way that it was set up. Cuz we like, we hadn’t been dating very long. We got like – at all. We got pregnant and it was like, So, I’m pregnant. And he was like, Cool, let’s do the damn thing.
Maggie
Yeah, he made a really valiant effort. It just, it.
Lia
But by the scope of it, it’s not like I had married the love of my life, and then we tried to get pregnant, and then it was a beautiful joyous occasion. Right? Like, that’s a whole situation I’m so unaware of. But, still, looking back at like the hospital, like the birth itself. The pregnancy, blech. I could, nope. No thanks. But, afterwards, I remember being like, That was awesome. If I could… I would have so many kids if I didn’t have to be pregnant. If I could just be pregnant for two weeks and then birth a child? I would become a baby-making factory.
Maggie
I guess the pregnancy is the type 2 fun. No, the birth is the type 2 fun.
Lia
No the birth is type 2.
Maggie
Sounds like all of it is type 2.
Lia
But it’s, yeah it’s not so much, like there’s definitely things that I’m like… and it even works in reverse. Like, the anticipation of fun. Right?
Maggie
Yeah, or something you’re building or working towards. It’s occupying your mind.
Lia
Yeah.
Maggie
It’s like not mindless scrolling or eating dessert. Although that is very fun.
Lia
Right? Mind numbing. It’s the distraction. I guess is really what it is. Like, if you’re doing something to… and it’s so hard because it’s like you want to stay, like being mindful. Being present of the moment is so important.
Maggie
Yes.
Lia
That Type 2 fun.
Maggie
I think another thing about type 2 fun is that as we get older we, there’s less opportunities for us to learn new things, and I think we all have this pressure on ourselves to be good at something the first time we try it. So if we’re not great at a new activity the first time we try it, then we like, right? You don’t want to feel that way, so you give it up.
Lia
Yeah, like roller skating? Cuz I crashed.
Maggie
Yeah, roller skating. I’m taking pottery classes and like, can I center the clay on the wheel? Absolutely not. It is so hard. But, learning that new skill is type 2 fun. But it makes us uncomfortable in the moment, but afterwards you have so much reward at the end.
Lia
Yeah, cuz you’re like, I did it! I did it! It’s, I mean, yeah, I mean you’re right. As we get older, as we age, the opportunity for moments to hold up your art project for your mom and be like, Look what I made – like that goes away.
Maggie
Yeah, totally.
Lia
And, and I remember saying this, and this is something that I do say regularly. It’s like, we talk about kids struggling with big emotions or not knowing how to handle their emotions, but it’s like, nobody taught us. We’re all just children. We just have more responsibility and a little bit more developed prefrontal cortex to be able to handle decision-making.
Maggie
Yep.
Lia
But we shouldn’t deny ourselves the opportunity to be like, Look, look it was hard and then I tried hard, and then I did it.
Maggie
Yeah, and if you have a good support system, they’ll listen to you when you do these things. Like I literally call my friends and be like, I did this and I need words of affirmation right now. Tell me I did a good job.
Lia
Yes. Yes. That is one thing that I communicate well and receive well. Like, what’s your love language? Tell me. I trust you to be self-aware so that I can hear what it is and then adjust accordingly. But also, I hope that you hear me and adjust accordingly.
Maggie
Really.
Lia
And to bring it all back…
Maggie
To prioritization. It’s easier, I feel like, to prioritize your friends and your children, and your lover’s interests and hobbies when it’s type 2 fun. Because they’re putting in a bigger effort, and so it’s almost easier to prioritize that. And I say this because some of, my husband and I’s dear dear friends are literally driving over 3 hours to come cheer us on at the end of a half marathon this June.
Lia
Cute!
Maggie
That does not sound fun for them. Like, running is the worst sport for spectators.
Lia
Right.
Maggie
They know that this is the type 2 fun that we’re working towards and we’re really proud of, and so they’re going to prioritize celebrating that. So I think if an individual focuses more on what type 2 fun they want to have, it gives you ability to prioritize, it helps you think longevity. I just think there are a ton of benefits to prioritizing type 2 fun.
Lia
I know, but it’s also like discipline. You can’t have type 2 fun if you never sign up for type 2 fun.
Maggie
It’s true. It is true.
Lia
Because, let me tell you my romantic girl evenings, where I put on my silk and lace robes and paint with myself, with no concern about how good my paintings are. That’s also fun. But if I were to sign up for a watercolors class, it would be hard.
Maggie
Yeah.
Lia
There’s the callout. Do the hard thing.
Maggie
Totally agree. Totally.
Lia
A life of comfort and ease. I put on my vision board 3 words. That’s it. Wealth, Joy, and Ease. But I think, and it’s so interesting. I said this to one of my boyfriends. One of my not boyfriends. And he was like, Ooo those things don’t coordinate. They don’t correlate to each other. And I was like, Ooo en contre ma frere. They do, in fact. Because, as you work hard towards working hard, you have to build it all up. So, this is all the things. We could just talk about this forever and ever. So, do the type 2 kind of fun. Do the hard things. Check out Lunar Herbals for some delicious Lunar – sponsor time – check out Lunar Herbals dot com. Use the code Lia10. L-i-a-1-0. To get $10 off your first order. Maggie, thanks for coming, for this double dose of bliss.
Maggie
Yeah, thanks for having me. More core memories soon.
Lia
More core memories. We’ll do type 2 fun and make core memories.
Maggie
Can’t wait.
Lia
K, thanks everybody. Love you long time. Bye.
Ending:
You have been listening to Master Your Bliss Life. Make sure to check out the show notes for any relevant links and follow Kiera and Lia on Instagram and LinkedIn.