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Master Your Bliss Life
Welcome to Master Your Bliss Life Podcast. No topic is off-limits as we talk all things magical, mysterious, and mundane in life. It is our mission to help you master your purpose and find your bliss.
Master Your Bliss Life
Ep.64- Balance Personal Goals with Relationship Needs
In this episode, Lia and Kiera cover the topic of pressure in relationships. Learn how to handle it, whether you're the one feeling pressured or the one doing the pressuring. It is important to manage the energy exchange in a relationship and make choices that benefit both yourself and your relationship. Lia and Kiera touch on their personal growth and making necessary changes to improve themselves, sharing their experiences with expectations in relationships and stressing the significance of communication and recognizing each other's potential. Listen in and explore the challenges of managing energy and productivity patterns and the impact of habits on relationships. Feel more confident in navigating your own pressure dynamics, embracing personal growth, balancing personal goals, and supporting others.
This episode is sponsored by Lunarherbles.com, where you can find natural wellness products to support your bliss life. -- Use code Lia10 for $10 off your first order.
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Hosts: Kiera Masters and Lia Bliss
Kiera on LinkedIn and Instagram
Podcast Manager: Kimberly Smith
Find Lia’s book here: Everything Is Your Fault by Lia Bliss
You're listening to Master Your Bliss Life. Join Kiera Masters and Leah Bliss as they dive into the magical, mysterious, and mundane elements of life, helping you to master your purpose and find your bliss.
Lia
Whoa She said. This is going to get a little awkward, wait…
Kiera
This could get a little spicy to those listening.
Lia
Look. These jewels, okay. So I've had a nail, had some nail crises over the last 2 months because I spend 4, between 4 and 6 days a week at the boyfriend-non-possessive’s house, He doesn't like progressive terms to describe relationships, and so we're trying to come up with a non possessive relationship term. Or right, but not my partner, like, I'm so glad you're mine, non possessive. Anyway so I’m at his house all the time, and I haven't been able to find a nail person because I'm not home to go to my regular nail lady. And so I went to this one girl, and she was like, Oh, your nails are really long, I do not feel confident doing long nails. And so she's done them once, and I was, and then she canceled my other appointment. I was like, oh, shit. I found this fabulous woman from Detroit, who she was all all set like, the epitome of, like, sassy black woman. And she told me that she wore 4 inch nails to the Cardi B concert. I was like, that is insane.
Kiera
I think your, I couldn't function with what you have. What are you saying?
Lia
And my nails are, like, maybe an inch past, like, my finger.
Kiera
Yeah. My aunt used to have, like, hers used to go, like, how long is that?
Lia
Like, 2 inches past the finger.
Kiera
Her’s were so freaking long, Lia. Like, her like, I'm like, how --
Lia
Her. Yeah.
Kiera
Maybe even 3 inches. Like, they were, like, like, don’t piss her off.
Lia
Right?
Kiera
She’d gouge your eyes out.
Lia
Like, she was like, I was like, do the most. And so she put on, like, 3D jewels. And so I have these giant, and they're, like, heavy. And, they’re not heavy, but they're, like, they weigh enough that I can I feel them. Like, it feels, they feel that --
Kiera
You've been, your middle finger’s gettin’ a workout. It's gonna take a little more effort to give the -- blah.
Lia
Right? Well, I'm looking Cardi B extra extra extra today, but -- I like it though. -- It’s fabulous. And so cheap. I when I used to go get my nails done, I would get, like, nail art and the length and all that, and it was, like, 80 bucks. Mhmm. Before tip. This woman, I finished up. I'm like, okay. How much do I owe you? I was like, money's no object. Do do the worst. Like, do your do the most. And she's like, oh, it's 40. And I was like, I'm sorry. What? $40 for this? Oh my god.
Kiera
So let me book my next appointment, please.
Lia
So that was fabulous. But so --
Kiera
So $80 with tip?
Lia
Right? Nice. I paid her $55. I'm like that, that feels like I'm robbing you, but okay. Okay. There. So I yeah. So it was great. But been having a lot of conversations lately about unintended impact.
Kiera [00:03:28]:
Mhmm.
Lia
Right? So and we've talked about this before. And so Kiera I’m going to ask you this because this is a self discovery moment for me. – Okay. – Because In because you know that in a huge majority of my relationships, right, with Ryan, with Brandon, with Ryan, with -- fucking Garrett with… Literally, all of them.
Kiera
All of them.
Lia
There comes a point where they're, like, And even with crazy Michelle, and so friendships this has happened in, where they say, you expect too much. You hold too high of a standard for me, and I can't meet you at that standard. Like, you expect too much. And I'm like, no. I don't. I don't, like, I don't expect anyone to be more than they are. – Mhmm. – But it was brought to my attention recently, aka Tony Menozio. That. And so I'm like, what the okay. This is and so Scott was like, I encourage you to become introspective about how you may inadvertently, unintentionally, continuously create expectations for people around you, that they feel are unfair or unattainable. And I was like, I feel like I'm just doing me. I'm just doing me. I don't feel like that's special. Right? I'm not putting myself on this pedestal like, I'm amazing, and everyone else sucks. needs to get on my level. Yeah. There are some men that I have dated who do suck and needed to get on my level.
Lia
On the level. On a level. Not your level. A level.
Kiera
Like, I told the story last night about how when my ex fiance and I broke up. His only his only responsibility bill to pay, was the phone bill. And when we broke up, he was like, oh, by the way, if you want me to release your line so you can have your, like, a separate phone account, you need to pay the $500 in back payment that I didn't pay. And so, like, yeah bro, I need you to get on the level of, like, an adult who pays --
Kiera
Responsibility. Yeah.
Lia
Who pays their bills. Period. Right. So get a –
Kiera
Pick one.
Lia
– and become an adult. Right? I'm trying to be with an adult. That's the bare minimum.
Kiera
That's it. Yeah.
Lia
But I'm like, okay. So I've had friends and I've had partners all say this. And so I'm like, Kiera, in your experience. because you and I have worked together in multiple facets. Like, we've worked together. We've lived together. We've been friends. We've been both in relationships. We've both been single. We've had a mix of that. – Mhmm.-- What would you say. And for all of the hot people walking, whether you Whether you have had on one side where you're like, oh, I just feel I feel bad because I'm not I'm not accomplishing what the expectation is. I feel like often it's from our parents or from our partner. – Mhmm –. Like, But but I'll caveat that. Normally, it's very obvious that they're like, we expect you to do, be, behave, do this. – Yeah. – Like, I don't expect any of that. I'm just doing me. I'm a let you do you. So So in an opportunity to roast me.
Kiera
To roast you.
Lia
What do you think is that thing?
Kiera [00:07:21]:
When it came to our relationship?
LIa
Or or at all?
Kiera
Or at all.
Lia
Or perceived. Don't count all of the ex boyfriends because, like --
Kiera
Yeah. No. Okay. So Well, I think there's, like I don't see that it's like… a bad thing to have, like, expectations with people. Like, let's go say to my relationship. Right? Like, I've There's things that I, like, desire in a relationship. And, of course, when you're first getting to know somebody, there's you're getting to know somebody. You don't know what their all their qualities are. You don't know, like, – Right. – You're learning things as you go and what they're good at and what they're not good at and what they can improve on and what they, like -- Yeah. -- like, I vacation for one thing –
Lia
And like, the first 3 months don't count because you're on best behavior.
Kiera
Yes. Absolutely. And, usually, it takes moving in with each other. – Yes. – You really, really, really see these things. Right? – Yes. Which -- And so -- Yes. So at that point, it's like, okay. These are the things that I see that you could do some work on because I need, I need somebody that's better at doing this in a relationship. Right? Or we cango our separate ways. Like, communication is, like, huge. It's huge to me. Right? But then there's other things like, you know how they say, like, you a lot of times, you see, like, in partners, like, the potential in them, and that's not, like, your thing to get them to their potential?
Lia
Yeah, in a relationship you fall in love. Yes.
Kiera
Yeah. And you're you, like, see that they could be a better version of themselves, and you want them to get to that. point But then at the same time, it's like it's not up to you to, like, push them into that direction. Maybe it's something that they want. Right? There's There's like this weird like, when it comes to mine and your relationship, our friendship. There have been things in the past where you've been like, Oh my gosh. If you take this job, and then you do this, and then you're gonna do this. And then you're gonna take it here. You're gonna blah blah blah. And I'm like, I don't wanna fucking do that. Like -- Yes. I – I, like, see it, but, like, I had to take a step back and be like, I don't it's okay. Like, she sees that I could do incredible things with this.
Lia
Right. But it's not your –
Kiera
I don't know that I see myself going in that direction, but I had to look at it in a sense of, like, It's okay if I don't exactly go in that direction because maybe I wanna go over here, but, really, she just wants to see me doing my best and see me happy. And she thinks that she she could see me thriving in this field, this area, doing -- Whatever.
Lia [00:09:53]:
It's like a fork in the road. Right? Because, Yeah. career. Right? It's like, hey. I could see your career going this way and flourishing.
Kiera
Yeah.
Lia
And you're like…
Kiera
And you should go do this. And I'm like, But so I had to take a step back because I was like, I did get this feeling of, like, if I don't do this, I'm gonna disappoint her. I'm not, like, living up to these, like, what she's like -- Hoping
Lia
The vision.
Kiera
– for me and the vision that she has for me. I did have this, like, I'm gonna let her down. Right? If I don't follow that. But at the same time, that's when I had to take a step back and be like, it's not necessarily that, like, she's like, this is the route that you, this is what you need to do or you're gonna let me down. It's just more so she's like, you're good at this. If you take, like, I just want to see you succeed.
Lia
Right. You don’t want missed opportunities.
Kiera
And here is one potential. Yeah. Well yeah. And so I kinda see where he's where where this conversation, like, kind of sparked from. But if you kind of change your perspective, on where this person's coming from with these, like, desires or what did you call them that --
Lia
Sure. No. No. No. That makes like, because it's so easy for other people to see, like, a plan based on their perspective and their perception and their values. And then to project that onto you. And I,and you're right. It's easy as the receiver of that projection to be like, oh, that's what they want me to do -- Mhmm. -- versus someone just being like, here is an option -- option – for you to do. Yeah.
Kiera
Oh, it's just a matter of kind of perspective, I think. And I think when When there's people out there, they get and get really defensive, really easily. – Yeah. – They they can take it to a different level than what it is that you're meaning.
Lia
Yeah. And I think that's a great point for people who are feeling pressured from other people in their lives.
Kiera [00:12:10]:
We've all got it from our parents. We all, like -- Yeah. -- from divorce and, like,
Lia
Someone I heard a quote once that was like, are you making choices? Are you living the life that you want or the life that you're parents want. – Yeah. – It's like, yeah. I had to go through that when, like, right in my family's like, move to California. move to California, and I'm like, that sounds great. And then a bunch of other things happened where I was like, I'm not gonna do that actually. And it's like, oh, people are gonna be disappointed in my change. But, also, they weren't, like, you have to remember, they're not actually as, like, engaged in that decision. Because it’s not their, their, like, they don't have to live with the ramifications of that decision. – No. – They can be like, I think this is the best thing for you. And you can be like, I love that you think about what's best for me.
Kiera
And it could open up your mind to like, to the possibilities of that and -- Yeah. -- you think about different things and different angles, different routes of what you wanna do, which I think is a great thing. But it's like you said, it's not they're just more so giving an idea or trying to help guide you in a certain way, but it doesn't mean you have to take it and you don't have to be worried about somebody just being disappointed in you for not doing exactly what they wanted you to do. – Mhmm. – But at the same time, like, when it comes to certain other things like say, in relationships or something. If one person was like, this is something that I really need in my relationship, and this person's like, well, I don't know that I can do that. There's also could be some a change in the relationships depending on, like… it doesn’t mean you have to do it. Just…
Lia
I think those are bigger things. Right?
Kiera
Yeah. Oh, definitely bigger things. Like, something that you're gonna have to live with forever in changing who you are. Like, that's…
Lia
Right. Right. So another thing we talked about is that, like, you and I have very different productivity styles. Where my style, so in human design, do you know what your human design is? So your human design, It's actually been really, really great for me. I downloaded an app where it gave you it it read to you audio version, like, read to you, like, your full chart for your human design, and I was like, oh, that is me. Like, worth the ten bucks or whatever I paid, I'll find it and send it to you. We'll put it in the show notes. – Yes. – I am a simp, very simply, I'm a projector. So there's different kinds. There's a generator. There's a Projector. There's a manifestor, and there's a manifesting generator. And so, gosh, my phone is blowin’ up today. Phone calls when –
Kiera
The kids are blown up today. That's why.
Lia [00:15:06]:
But so a generator so if you think of, like, an engine, literally a generator, the thing that you hook up so that your power when your power goes out and you need your fridge to still work. – Yeah. – Generator outputs a steady stream of energy. Mhmm. If I had to guess, I would guess that you are a generator. I joined a, I started working, I guess, consulting for a company and they specifically set up their leadership team to have 2 of everything. There's 2 projectors. There's 2 manifestors, and there's 2 generators. I’m like, oh, you're so smart. It's a wellness company. So.
Kiera
Honestly, I think I may have taken this, and I think I have some --
Lia
I was gonna say, I think you if I had to guess, I would say you're a manifesting generator. -- or a generator. But so a manifestor is someone that just can literally manifest things. My friend Danielle, she is a manifestor. She is all about, like, putting the intention out into the universe. If she can think it, she can achieve it. For me as a projector, it basically means that my productivity comes in these huge swings of energy. There will be times that I will in 72 hours, I will get more done than most people get done in 2 weeks. – Mhmm. – Right? One of those days was yesterday. I Woke up, took a shower, got ready, did, like, did a full day's worth of work. I didn't necessarily put in 8 hours, but I did work.
Kiera
A lot of work.
Lia
I did a lot of work. And then I scrubbed to the bathroom, vacuumed the whole house. I vacuumed out all the vents in the house. and did all the dishes. And then I went and got my nails done and then went and saw a movie. And then one picked up my boyfriend from work.
Kiera
And then the next day, you were like, laid flat.
Lia
And then, and then this morning, I woke up, and I just was like, I was in a mood. But that's beside the point. But I'm just like, I’m not doing anything. I'm not working hard today. I mean, like, it's we're coming up on 4th July weekend. I am not Like, I did I did my time. I'm not I don't feel it. And I've learned to ride those energetic waves. Where it's like, if I'm feel if I'm in the mood to put out a lot of effort, I need to harness that. 1, because if I don't, I'm not gonna get done what I need to get done. And 2, if I if I don't, I feel unfulfilled. Yeah. So you know what I mean? A projector.
Kiera
Projector. I am a manifesting generator.
Lia
Ah, yes. Yes. Yes. A manifesting generator. Right? So you can call into your life what you need, but you are a slow and steady wins the race. A little bit every day. Right. You're you're the executioner.
Kiera
Right. Yeah. The exe– the executer, the executioner.
Lia
So we --
Kiera
Multi- hyphenate, multi-passionate people who are here to do and accomplish many diverse things.
Lia
Yes. Perfect. Amazing. I wonder what it says about projectors. But it is, it's been interesting to see how our work styles are different, how our methods are different, and that you have to kind of lean into that. And for me, it's easy to forget that, like, not everybody is gonna be in this, like, almost manic high level production energy. – Yeah. – Like, there have been days when even when we were working at the club where it was, like, Is Lia on drugs? She must be on drugs right now because she, holy shit. And there's other days where I'm like, I'm going home right now. I'm I'm I don't feel like working. I don't feel like it. And it comes down to being really tuning in and tapping into that feeling. But I think what happens is that when I'm in my high production energy, when other people see that, they feel… It it it tends to unfairly highlight their lack of big output. Yeah. Yeah. She said, Yeah. because I'm like, go I'm like, yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. But then I also rest in a very private kind of way. So -- Mhmm. -- I often see -- how much resting I do. They just see the result of the output. And as I take the opportunity that I was presented with to reflect on that inadvertent, unanticipated, unintending impact on people. Right? Like, I don't mean to do the best, but it and it's hard to fight this. Right? so much. It's that if I'm too much, go find less. –Yes. – If that took less, go find less.
Lia [00:20:09]:
But I was challenged to re- examine that mentality Because it's like with great power comes great responsibility. – Mhmm. – In a professional setting, if I'm out here making everybody feel like they're not doing enough. Even though I think they're doing enough, I tell them they're enough. I validate their enough-ness. I love their enough ness. Mhmm. But because they are comparing it to my enough, that they feel bad. – Yeah. – It's like, where is my responsibility to temper those unintended impacts? That's so hard to be…
Kiera
That's a good question.
Lia
Right. because in my heart, I'm like, fuck you. I'm not gonna do less. I'm not gonna accomplish less so they won't feel bad about yourself, but It's like, in a team setting, professionally or romantically, That cannot…
Kiera
Slow of the flow.
Lia
Well, because because now it's counterproductive. 1, I don't need to do it all myself. – Yeah. – I don't just because I can, doesn't mean I should. – Mhmm. – And it becomes counterproductive. If I'm gonna do all the things which causes people to feel bad and then do less things or resent me for the things that's actually not benefiting the overall goal of, like, synergy and --
Kiera
No. Well, then that might cause resentment for them within you. So it's like you have to find that balance of what… and it’s hard.
Lia [00:21:55]:
Yeah. And it's hard because because it's like, okay. It's almost and I hate that I just thought about it this way. But it's like, okay. You know, pick the lesser of 2 evils. Would I rather be useful? Would I rather feel bad because I didn't live up to what I felt like my potential was or would I really rather feel bad because I'm resenting everyone else? – Mhmm. – And so I think that it comes down to, It's like what you said with the manifesting generator, putting that effort into multiple places. – Mhmm. – Right? So maybe the because it I don't think it's an overall thing. I think it's a, the direct impact that it has on other people.
Kiera
Other people. Yeah.
Lia
Right? Like, if I'm gonna put all this energy into, quote, unquote, figuring out your career path for you, and you're like, Well, I don't wanna do that, and now I feel weird about it. – Mhmm. – I'd be like, oh, well, I feel weird about it now because she totally disregarded my perfect advice. Yeah. Right? Like, that's a lose lose. Yeah. Instead, it could be like, oh, I'm gonna spend that same amount of mental and emotional energy into figuring out the next 6 months of my goals or right cleaning my house. or going like, if I'm gonna spend that kind of energy because to me, mental and physical energy are kind of connected, intertwined. And so it's like, if you need to feel accomplished, if you need to feel this that or the other, valued yadayadayada, Pick something that doesn't impact your team. – Mhmm. -- team being both professional and personal. – Mhmm. – So as this is so, hot people walking. This is the type of conversation that we have, that I have, that Kiera and I have when -- Right. – When I really wanna ask myself, how can I master my bliss life? How can I be better? It's this kind of de–
Kiera
This kind of question.
Lia
Yeah. Because I'm like, oh, okay. I have received feedback on my behaviors in a non-flattering way. Okay. How much of this is true? How much of this is not true? Where can I change this? What's it gonna cost me emotionally, mentally, physically? And so it's like, okay. If if me doing behavior a at high impact, high production, high, high, high level. It's gonna cause resentment and issues within my team. I'm gonna put all that same energy. I'm still gonna do it. I'm just not gonna put as much energy into it. and I'll save that energy for something else, which is why the 6 relationships, I think, is so important. because it's like, oh, I'm putting so much work into my space, let's say. – Mhmm. – But I'm like, I'm gonna clean the house. I'm gonna clean I I love a spotless house. I wanna clean it. I wanna declutter. I wanna do this. This is this. And it's like, well, that causes resentment because it's like, well, I feel yeah. This makes me feel like you think that I can't do it. – Mhmm. – It's like, okay. Instead of that, I can spend that time and energy going to the gym. because I can't go to the gym for you. – No. – And so I can put energy in energy. Right. I can put all that energy into bettering rate improvement, effort, production into improving purely myself, which sounds more selfish… But in fact, that is less selfish. Is that true?
Kiera
Okay. Yes. Because it's all, like, You're still taking care of you, and you're still doing the things that you wanna do for you, but it's also not really causing somebody else to feel any sort of–
Lia
Any kind of way.
Kiera
Yeah.
Lia
Yeah.
Kiera
Like, it's not. But I I mean, I also have a hard time with that too because it's, like, You're -- I don't know. You're just not you're you're not responsible to look out for other people's feelings. Like like, I mean, being directly rude and and an asshole to somebody is, like, one thing. But when you're, like, you're just doing you and somebody else takes it, like, personally, and it's something that's, like, triggering them to feel a certain way. Like, That's on them. Right? That's not on you.
Lia [00:26:48]:
Right. So I and I mostly agree with that, except for… Now it's, right? because I'm like, well, if me being hype- like, high production, high level, high functioning, If that's gonna trigger you, like, if I'm too much, then obviously, you can't handle it, and you're not at the level, and you're not gonna… and so I'm… and it and it gives the sense of, like, I'm better than you. – Mhmm. – Right? Well, I'm better than you. Well, if you can't get on the if if me being good, makes you feel bad, then obviously, I'm better. But that's not quite a good way to think about.
Kiera
No. It's not a good way to think about it. And that's not how it is.
Lia
It's not how it is. – Uh-uh. – because and that's what it leans to, right, where it's like, okay. Where can both parties take accountability in a place that comes to, like, yeah. You're right. They I am doing things that trigger you.
Kiera [00:27:40]:
That's that's where it boils down to as both parties being able to take accountability for what they're doing and how it's like, what feelings it's creating within each other and themselves. Like
Lia
Right. Because, like, with Ryan, my ex fiance, couldn't do anything. If I, if I criticized him in any way, no matter how many tools of of good communication I used. – Mhmm. – Matter what approach, how much kindness and love, and and simplicity that I broached this thing. If I were to be like, hey. This behavior makes me feel it kinda way, or, you know, I I could really use your help in this or, you know, the biggest impact you can make on my life positively is gonna be these things. Anything ANYTHING that I brought to him was a direct attack on his person, and he became so combative.
Kiera
Defensive. Yeah.
Lia
Defensive and angry, and this is just who I am.
Kiera [00:28:54]:
That's the thing that is people like, that, they they don't want to grow and learn. And and do better and be better. And it's not just to say for somebody else, like, it's for themselves. Like, they know–
Lia
At all.
Kiera
Yeah.
Lia
Perfect just the way I am.
Kiera
This is who I am.
Lia
My mama told me that I'm perfect, and I'm not gonna change because I don't think that there's anything wrong with me. It's like, okay.
Kiera
You don't like that? <inaudible> like that.
Lia
Sure. There's nothing wrong with you. You don't need to change. But you could learn to optimize certain behaviors based on your situation. – Mhmm. - It's like learning to work with a new boss. You can't you can't go to your boss and be like, this is just how I am. – Yeah. – Take it or leave it. They're gonna be like, you're fired. – Yeah. - And not that a relationship would be that kind of relationship. – Yeah. – Like, a romantic relationship wouldn't be that way. But still, it's like, who who are you to say I'm done? – Yeah. – I'm done. I've progressed enough. I don't wanna grow anymore.
Kiera [00:30:08]:
Yeah. This is, that's we're always being presented and put in situations where we have the option to grow or stay where we are?
Lia
Yes. And I don't and I would even go as far as saying, both choices are equally valuable. – Mhmm. – Here's a opportunity to grow. Right? So, like, back to your example of like, hey. You could take this career path and grow and develop in this direction. –Mhmm. – And you're like, you're right. I have that opportunity. – Mhmm. – But –
Kiera [00:30:43]:
I have the skills for it. And then --
Lia
Exactly. I am capable. I am able. I have opportunity. But that's not the direction that's gonna take me closer to my bliss life. Yeah. That is a fork in the road that leads me away from my Emerald City. And so while yes, that opportunity for growth is here, I'm not gonna take it. Now if it's like, you're a selfish prick and you steal money from me, you, please don't do that, and you're like, I'm not gonna take that growth opportunity. I think that my behavior is just fine. That…
Kiera
That is a little different.
Lia
And that's and that I say that like a joke, but based on real events. Based on real events. Babe, don’t lie to me about your income so that your contribution to the household doesn't have to be more even though you work one job and I work 2 jobs and have a kid, and you sit at home and play video games all day.
Kiera
And only paying a cell phone bill.
Lia
No. No. No. That was Brandon. Brandon lied about his income. So he didn't have to pay. So he didn't have to contribute to the family as much. Stop it.
Kiera
Sounds like somebody else I know.
Lia
Oh, shit. Oh, yes. Well, yes. That's weird. Weird. Don't don't lie on your taxes, folks.
Kiera
Don’t lie on your taxes. It will come out.
Lia
Come back and bite you in the butt. Oh, what? So In one of the previous episodes, somebody asked me, you know, how do you how do you process through all of this emotion? How do you approach conversations with this kind of, like, emotion attachment. Right? And and that's where it comes down to. Like, your emotions are not you. Your behaviors, Your habits aren't even you. Right? You are not just the sum of your habits. Now the life that you create for yourself will, is derived from the sum of your habits. Right? If you can If you wake up and go to the gym, you drink enough water, you do your best at work, you save money. Right? You're gonna build a different kind of life then if you order takeout every single night and get drunk off your ass at 6 PM.
Kiera
Yep.
Lia
Right? You're just gonna have a different life.
Kiera
I know somebody like that too.
Lia
Weird. My so good friend just I just got this big download about her husband and some of those unsavory habits.
Kiera
Mhmm.
Lia
Oh, and that and those habits have caused a change in their relationship. – Yep. – May surprise you to learn.
Kiera [00:33:50]:
We know how that works.
Lia
Right? Because and one thing that we talk about a lot is that, like, growth is when you are presented with a growth opportunity. And you take that opportunity to make significant change without having to be reminded constantly. – Mhmm. – Right. Hey, babe. I need you to make sure that you take the dogs out, or I need you to make sure you feed the dogs every morning, before you go. Okay. I will work on that. Right? The acknowledgement happens. – Mhmm. – 30 days later, they forget to feed the dogs. They're like, hey, babe. I need you feed the dogs every morning you forgot. Oh my god. I'll be right on it. Today's goes by. They forget again. You don't bring it up. Maybe it was a fluke. And then they completely forget. And it's like, okay. How many times do I need to remind you before you take before it–
Kiera
Creates a habit and yeah. Right.
Lia
Right. But but even that it's cognizant in your mind that you're, this is something that I need to work on, and I'm going to make it a priority in my own mind. Right? –Mhmm. – That's one thing. right if cure if you were like, Leah, you need to shave your legs every day. I'm like, okay. For you for you, baby, I'll do that. So you pick me up shaving my legs every day, and then I don't do it. And you're like, I need to shave your legs every day. And I'm like, oh, yeah. And then you say it, and I forget again. Right? It's only me being like, oh, yeah. I need to remember that. I need to make it a priority to remember what they said and the directive that they gave me that I agreed to. – Mhmm. -- versus I'll just wait till they remind me again. I'll just wait till they are --
Kiera
Instead of being reminded and reminded and reminded and reminded over and over and over and over --
Lia
I don't remember. Yeah. -- to make the change, I'll only do it when I get in trouble. Yeah. So --
Kiera
If it's something like that just don't agree to it.
Lia
Right. If that's the case, like…
Kiera
Don't agree to it.
Lia
I'm sorry. I love you, but I am not shaving my legs every day because that's not a priority for me. – Yep. – I know that it's a priority for you, or you're in aesthetician school right now. Lia, you need to wear sunscreen every day. I'm sorry. I love you. I can't commit to that. I know that that's important to you. I know you're giving me the look, but I cannot commit to wearing sunscreen every day. If I spend the whole day out of doors, maybe SPF 15. But I can I I know that I will not commit to wearing sunscreen every day. – Yep. – And so I will not commit to it. And you could be disappointed in me. Right?
Kiera
I am not disappointed because, honestly, I'm still trying to make it a good habit for myself. So It takes it takes a while. I didn't I mean, I didn't ever put it on unless I was, like, at the pool and then or at the lake or something. And then I was like, oh, yeah. Sunscreen. And then, like, hours later, my god. Probably, I should have put some more sunscreen on, and then I do it again. But, like, now being in school, I'm like, oh, shit. Yeah. Everybody should have sunscreen. We should put on sunscreen sitting in front of our computers.
Lia
Yes. Yes.
Kiera
Like, inside outside it don’t matter. But, like, Have I made it a constant habit and reapplying every hour? No. It's like, no. It's not. I know I need to do it. Now it's just a matter of me being like, how much do I really care about my life and my skin? I mean, a lot, but.
Lia
See? And that's the thing. You who are presented with a growth opportunity.
Kiera
Mhmm.
Lia
And you get to take time to figure out, is that something that I choose to change. –Mhmm. – What is my responsibility? Now if, say, you and I were living together, you were, like, crazy about it, and you were and you did that every single day, every hour, sunscreen reapplication. And I was like, I do not care. We would have to both be accountable to the fact that you care more than I do and that I'm not I am or am not going to make that change.
Kiera
I just have to accept the fact that you're probably gonna get melanoma and die at a young age, and it's okay. It’s your decision.
Lia
And not guilt trip each other.
Kiera
And not guilt trip each other.
Lia
About it. Right? And that's the other thing. You have to be legitimate. You can't be passive-aggressive moving forward.
Kiera
Mm-mm.
Lia
Right? Yep. Because it appears you're presented with the growth opportunity. It's your relat– in in a relationship, whether it's a friendship, a work relationship, whatever, both persons are accountable for understanding who's who's pressuring and who's feeling pressured. –Mhmm. – Right? If I’m pressuring you to be better. And you're feeling pressured to be better. It's up to both of us to recognize that that exchange energetically is happening and that we're both responsible for mitigating it if necessary. – Yeah. –That concludes the episode. I feel really good about that statement.
Kiera
I do too.
Lia
No. That was -- Okay. -- got that right because yeah. because, like, I'm our responsibility. I'm a little bit of this. Yep. Little bit it is. So -- Gotta get it is. How we've learned, we've grown. Thanks for joining us. Yay, -- people. I have …
Kiera
It feels good to be…
Lia
I have so many people that have been messaging me about their, like, hot walks. Oh, well. Like, oh, I do my hot walk? Like, people are sending me or sending me videos of them doing their hot walks.
Kiera
I like it.
Lia
Perfect. Perfect. Hot couple walks, hot man walks, hot girl walks, hot dog walks?
Kiera
All the walks.
Lia
All the walks. I love it. Okay. Check out lunarherbles.com who is sponsoring this in every episode of Master Your Bliss Life, check out Instagram, and all of the thingy singing?
Kiera
Anything.
Lia
Kiera, what's your new Instagram for your aesthetics business?
Kiera
Bliss Life Aesthetics.
Lia
Oh, shocker.
Kiera
I know. I know. I was trying to come up with the name, and I couldn't get it out of my head. And I was like, I feel like this is just what it's supposed to be.
Lia
Right. So BlissLifeAesthetics on Instagram. If you wanna remember, to wear sunscreen every day. And, yeah, that's it. We'll wrap up here. If thank you for coming on this learning journey with us, we'd love you so much.
Kiera
Bye.
You've been listening to Master Your Bliss Life. Make sure to check out the show for any relevant links and follow Kira and Lia on Instagram and LinkedIn.