Ep.69- Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway with Anica Bell

In this episode, Lia and her guest Anica Bell, explore the exhilarating process of achieving success and realizing one's dreams. Taking risks and stepping into the unknown can be intimidating, yet crucial. Initiating that first step, regardless of fear, lays the foundation for progress. As you begin to taste success, something interesting happens: those who once doubted you due to their own limitations become frustrated. Your accomplishments challenge their excuses and spark a shift in perspective.

Tune in to this episode for insights into pursuing your dreams, discerning between habits and addictions, fostering a growth mindset, and nurturing authentic relationships. Discover the power of defying limitations and embracing the journey toward success.

This episode is sponsored by Lunarherbals.com, where you can find natural wellness products to support your bliss life. -- Use code Lia10 for $10 off your first order.

Join -----> Master Your Bliss Life Patreon <-----

Host: Lia Bliss on LinkedIn and Instagram

Guest: Anica Bell on LinkedIn 

Find Lia’s book here: Everything Is Your Fault by Lia Bliss

Podcast Manager: Kimberly Smith

Transcript

You’re listening to Master Your Bliss Life. Join Kiera Masters and Lia Bliss as they dive into the magical, mysterious, and mundane elements of life, helping you to master your purpose and find your bliss.

Lia:

Fiasco. This is always how it goes, because every time I get a new person on the podcast, I'm like, we're gonna record now. It's like, wait, what? This is how we start? So.

Anica:

You just mentioned, I was not expecting. I had things to tell you offline. We'll take that offline.

Lia:

We'll take it offline. Obviously, you're a corporate baddy because no one else uses the term. Let's take it offline. But, yes.

Anica:

The lingo is deeply ingrained at this point.

Lia:

I am joined by the fabulous Anica Bell. Baddy, boss babe, fabulous. We were talking about incorporating central movement into a self-care routine.

Anica:

Just getting right into it right into it.

Lia:

Right. Well, it's important. I mean –

Anica:

I love it. Let's do it. Let's do this.

Lia:

But it right. You're talking about being in a new season of life. You've had, you've made some massive changes, and let's just do some recap here. Anica and I met in Vegas, the greatest place to make best friends,

Anica:

Oh, I heart you Las Vegas.

Lia:

Heart you Las Vegas. So I met Las Vegas and my, I don't know, my Bliss Magic, my higher yourself. My intuition was like, that bitch. Gitter. Gitter. You were living in Indiana at the time. And through blackmail and kidnapping threats. I convinced you to move to Utah.

Anica:

Yes. It was it was 100% of choice. Please do not send the feds out here. I gave consent.

Lia:

Consent to move out here. But talk about a person who is living their bliss life, making choices, and I know that it doesn't feel like it all the time. But Like, you told you started telling me the story the other day at the pool. We were having pool day. Also, let's do that tomorrow.

Anica:

Hot girl pool day. Love it.

Lia:

Hot girl pool day. And you're telling me the story. about how you felt deeply unfulfilled by your job. – Mhmm. – Even though And I'm gonna say this slow, and I'm gonna say it twice for the people in the back. You closed a $1,000,000 in business in a month.

Anica:

No. It was actually one day. It it closed one day.

Lia:

One day. It was one day.

Anica:

Oh. In the lead up, the lead up, they were all under contract for several weeks, but, like, the close, it was one day close.

Lia:

One day closed a $1,000,000 of business in real estate.

Anica:

When you say it with that speed, it sounds so intense.

Lia:

It it it's a big deal. It's a big deal. It that's like where people, that's that's living the dream that you've had in the past. Like, that's for a lot of people, the arrival. Yeah. Like, I did the damn thing. I have done it. And what did you do the next day?

Anica:

I retired. It's like, I'm done with this effing game. I'm going home.

Lia:

And it's not And it's not like you're of retirement age.

Anica:

No. I am not.

Lia:

It's not a natural --

Anica:

Very, a very young, and youthful.

Lia:

Young and youthful and vibrant, but I wanna talk about because when we met, you were talking about moving out of Indiana. Because of the mindset that you had cultivated for yourself around going after what you wanted. Yes. So talk to me about that thought process. Go back to Indiana. The day before when you were like, I'm gonna retire from real estate. I'm going I am successful. I am thriving. I am doing the thing. You retired. Where was your mindset at? What was that in your little noggin?

Anica:

The the day of retirement or the day that I made the decision to -- Yes. -- walk away. – Yes. – Okay. so I I guess I would have to go back to it was about 2019. and I was, I was having success. I was the best year I had ever had. I was knocking on the door of six figures My husband and I were going to Vegas three times a year just for SNGs. I was on the leadership council for my brokerage. I was like, 20 top 20 percent, with the company that I worked with, I was doing very, very well. And, like, on paper, And on the inside, my life was a disaster, like, of epic proportions. It was a dumpster fire wrapped in a hot mess. Right? It was -- 

Lia:

Wrapped in a tortilla. 

Anica:

Yeah. A tortilla of hot, hot mess. Yeah. I was working, like, every day was at least 17 hour day. And I was, I was very I was way overweight. I was drinking more than I care to admit, but it was great because I was still doing the damn thing, and everybody was telling me how great I was doing, and it was awesome. And I was successful and the money kept coming in. And one day I woke up and I was like, I, I have gotta do something different or I'm going to do something completely different. Like, this is just not serving me at this point in my life. It was it was the people that I spent all of my time with, I was constantly on for work. I was constantly even spending time with friends was lead gen, like, which meant that I couldn't talk to them about my business and how stressed out I was because they might not call me for their business if they thought I didn't enjoy it. So I was having

Lia:

If they thought you were overwhelmed, they would think, Oh, I better not give her more work because she's overwhelmed.

Anica:

Exactly. Exactly. And I was in an exclusively commission based income at this point. So if mama didn't sell, mama didn't eat, you know. And so it was very much a I had to be on all the time, and it was exhausting. And it felt, all of my relationships felt transactional. I felt like I was everybody's best friend for you know, 6 weeks and then the contract closed, and it was peace. See you later.

Lia:

You're dead to me.

Anica:

Or never? Yeah. And, I was very fortunate during the pandemic I actually was able to turn off all of my, my website leads. I was to stopped paying for lead gen services and I was able to float and, be successful on completely on referral and repeat business, which was a godsend and a blessing. I'm incredibly grateful for every day of my life. Thank you. but it was just it it was still exhausting. It was still doing all of the things for all of the people and never being able to express like, hey, I need help. I'm not okay. And There were no boundaries anywhere because my family were my clients, and my friends were my clients, and my clients were the only people I ever spent time with. And so I would come home at the end of the day and be completely exhausted. from just living my life and at the same time, not actually living my life. Does that make sense?

Lia:

Oh my gosh. Yes. Say yes. Yes. Yeah. That is I mean, preach, girl, that, ugh. Yeah. Yes. It that being on all the time. It's the emotional labor of your job and where there's no safe harbor for you to put down that emotional labor. We talk about the masculine and the feminine. You had to operate in your masculine –

Anica:

all the time.

Lia:

100% of the time, not I mean, At home, there's the option to kind of rest back into the feminine. But when you're that exhausted, and you're on in your masculine energy, right, the provider, the pusher, the type A, all of that, even when you do get home and even if your husband is super supportive of you existing in your feminine, it's It's sheer exhaustion. You can't move into that other space because that transition time is too long.

Anica:

Yeah. It was the the easiest way was, like, throw back, like, 2 whiskeys and be like, okay. Now we're done. And then that was –

Lia:

and pass out.

Anica:

Yeah. And that was in was a major contributing factor as well. So it was just it was it was this endless cycle of just exhaustion and pushing through and powering through. And It's like the results were there. So thank goodness. It it I never hit full on burnout, but it was just constant and consistent exhaustion.

Lia:

Right. And it's so hard when you're like, this is this is not fulfilling. This is tiring. I don't wanna do this, but every single external source is telling you that this is good, and you are winning. And this is success.

Anica:

You’re doing great! This is what success looks like push harder, hire more people, expand your team, take on more responsibility. No. I’m tired.

Lia:

So so when so when did the shoe drop? Like, when were you like, this has got to change?

Anica:

Yeah. when was the the exact moment? I don't even remember the exact moment, but I do know that I I got to the point where I I hired a career coach to find out, like, okay, what else is out there? Cause at this point, like, this was this was my first sales job. And so rewind about 3 years before, it was difficult to find anybody that would take a chance on somebody that had no sales experience. So I thought if I can't find somebody who will give me a sales job, I will just make my own. So I found, like, the the easiest path to sales with the lowest cost of entry and the highest ROI, and it was real estate was residential real estate. Boom. I'm in.

Lia:

Boom. She's in. She's got it.

Anica:

And yeah. And so by the – Yes. I'm I'm a woman with a plan at this point. So I by the time I had gotten several years under my belt, I got into the point where I was, as we said, like, super successful and existing in my masculine all of the time and doing all of the things. I was like, okay, how can I take the things that I do love about selling and transition them into something completely different. Like, what is it? What because there were moments that I did enjoy it. There was something about like finding the need and fulfilling the need, and there was something about, you know, providing something that a client actually needed. There was something about seeing the Facebook posts of their kids on the 1st day of school with the porch that help them buy and all of, when they were like,

Lia:

yes,

Anica:

posting about their, their new furniture and their paint colors and all of these things. The renovations they had done when they flipped the house and we sold it again, and they made a huge profit. Like, there were moments that I loved. and so I, I tried to figure out what, where can I take, where can I extract, like, the beautiful things about this career that I do love and leave behind the, like, on call 24/7 and leave behind the constantly generation what can I do? And that's where I stumbled into, sales enablement as a career path. And I love it. It coaching, it's training, it's one-on-ones, it's making meaningful connections with the people that are still carrying the bag. So it's all of that, like, understanding of why we choose to buy from the people that we choose to buy from. It's why we choose to make the decisions that we do, and it's it's it's understand. It's it's repetitive, so I get to build meaningful relationships with them. And as -- 

Lia:

Right. It's not as high as 6 weeks. Hello. Goodbye. It a long term relationship with the success.

Anica:

So back to your initial question, the, the moment that I found out, that I decided I was gonna do something completely different with the moment found that. And I was like, this is, this is the next thing. I don't know if this is the forever thing, but it's certainly the next thing.

Lia:

Damn. Okay. So.

Anica:

And that's where we met.

Lia:

And that's where we met because you were at a conference for sales enablement. Not working in sales enablement. Not you were just there to find out more about the industry, the processes, the all of the things.

Anica:

Meet people that, you know, knew somebody that was hiring, hopefully. 

Lia:

Meet somebody that knew somebody. So You decided you went to this conference. You were still living in Indiana, and I remember you told me that there were people in your life that poo-poohed this idea. Right? Cause you went from having all of this external support saying, like, you're winning, you're successful, you're doing it. And then when you said, I want something more. I want something more than just monetary success. I want fulfillment. You had people...

Anica:

Yeah. There was there was an instant backlash. It was like, but why are you gonna do that? That's so risky, which is ironic because they said the same thing when I got into sales because they were the same people that were like, oh, you know, sales is difficult. And then when I went back to a 9 to 5, they Like, why would you give up? Everything's so amazing.

Lia:

Isn't that interesting?

Anica:

It is.

Lia:

It’s same people. The same people.

Anica:

It’s the same fears.

Lia:

It's the same. --

Anica:

excuses.

Lia:

It's, so I have this I don't know if we call it a theory or a methodology, but that when you are successful at something, when you take a risk, to go live a life of your dreams, right, your bliss life. And you do it. and you take the first step, even if it's scary. And then you start to show some success. The people who have been telling themselves that they can't do it because of this, that, or the other, get really, really mad. because you are disproving all of the excuses that they have given themselves for not being successful.

Anica:

Hashtag facts.

Lia:

Hashtag, all facts, no printer. This is what it is.

Anica:

Yes. 100%.

Lia:

So not only do we have to shift… So in order to be fulfilled in your life, to live your bliss life, you had to quit the job that was making you a ton of money and getting you a ton of external validation, you also had to move away from a quote unquote support system that had turned on you yet again to find a place where you could be supported.

Anica:

Yes. And, like, yeah, and to your point, I think that it's not that people, people get angry when you prove them wrong. People get, and that resentment, like, even if the resentment isn't blatent. Like, I don't think anybody was outright, like, trying to tell me, oh, you're gonna you're gonna fail. You suck. You can't do this. Nobody was That was never it. It was always a it always came from a place but that love was always based in fear. – Yes. – Or resentment or excuses. Yes. And I…

Lia:

I love you, and I don't wanna see you fail because I've convinced myself that doing this is the path to failure.

Anica:

Exactly. Exactly. And you really have to, I think, that the biggest part of having a growth mindset and the biggest part of growing gaining success is knowing that that is coming, knowing that that avalanche is gonna come and preparing for how you're going to combat it, how you're gonna protect self against it, how you're going to stand tall and strong in the things that you understand are right for you. Even when the people that you have trusted all of your life and the people that you've taken advice from for most of your life are telling you the exact opposite of what you feel in your gut.

Lia:

This is so interesting because the last podcast episode that I did, I was talking with a woman and we discussed this very thing. The best relationships are where you stand in your truth fully, and you have someone else who stands in your truth, their truth fully, Mhmm. And you intersect, but not entangle.

Anica:

Oh, that's beautiful. Yes.

Lia:

Right? Because you can know your truth, theist truth, and they can know their truth, theist truth. But as soon as you try to make your truth, their truth, or vice versa, you get into problems.

Anica:

Yes. That's where it all falls to pieces.

Lia:

And people, most people, as a generalization, struggle with those, Truth boundaries.

Anica:

Well, I think it's I think it's comes to most people don't understand where their truth is.

Lia:

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Anica:

Most people have never considered why they think things or why they do things or why they believe what they believe. They just know that this is what we've always done, and this is the path, and this is what I was told to do. And, and that's how I'm gonna be successful. And if there's anything that the past, like, you know, 2000 years of history has told us that that can change at any given moment. Right?

Lia:

Yes.

Anica:

That's never, like, comfort is the enemy of progress. and progress is coming whether or not you like it.

Lia:

Comfort is the enemy of progress. Comfort is the enemy of progress.

Anica:

Again for the people in the back.

Lia:

Oh my gosh. And I just got back from the gym, and let me tell you that's the truth because squats are not comfy. 

Anica:

Oh, but they do make your butt look great.

Lia: 

They make your butt look great, but you won't get any gains if you aren't if you're comfy that, like, if I sat on my couch all day --

Anica:

Oh, you would gain a lot. – I would -- that you want.

Lia:

I would I would not get I would not increase my muscle mass. I would not get that booty you could pop a quarter off of. That would not exist for me. POW, but you gotta get uncomfy. If and you've I I think the, I don't wanna say the bravest people, but the people that are going to see the biggest amount of growth in the shortest amount of time are people who can immediately understand that this is going to be uncomfortable. Yeah. I'm going to change careers. I'm going to move across country. I'm going to switch up my living situation. I'm going to start waking up every day with sensual movements so that I can reengage my femininity and get more in touch with my body.

Anica:

Yeah. Feel the fear and do it anyway.

Lia:

Feel the fear. These sayings are so high level. of course, like, my Instagram and my TikTok are just filled with, like, these these quotables. Right? Feel the fear and do it anyway. Right? blah blah blah blah blah. All these quotes.

Anica:

What got you here won't get you there? Yeah. If

Lia:

you yeah. You've gotta kill your old life to make your new one. And it's like, that all sounds great, but what does that look like in actuality? I am big about logistics. I That's the biggest question I

Anica:

I need more information.

Lia:

But more so, like, Okay. So when I enter into a romantic relationship and an element of that romantic relationship changes, I always have to ask, what does that mean? What does that look like in the everyday day to day? Like, when I had my ex fiance move in with me, It was like, okay. Hey, we should move in together. That's a great idea. Okay. Awesome. But what is that gonna look like on the day to day? What's that gonna look like? Are you a morning person? Are you a night person? Are we gonna have bathroom schedule situations? Are we going to, like, is this going to continue to bring me closer towards my bliss life. If I go and apply for a new job? Okay. What does this mean? Because this happens all the time with new jobs. They're like, oh, you get to do this, you get to do that, and you're gonna be… Right? And they pitch you on these, like, big fancy concepts, but you gotta drill down and be like, What does my day to day activity look like? What is my new quality of life?

Anica:

That's the point where most people get terrified. Because that's the point where the accountability sets in. That's the point where you have to acknowledge what are my habits? What are your habits? Who are you going to be? And who am I gonna be? And how am I gonna react when I don't like that. And what are the actual logistics of that? How is that going to impact my day to day life? And that's where people get like, oh, that's scary. I don't wanna think about that. No.

Lia:

We'll just get into a romantic relationship and not talk about that. I know my boyfriend the other day was like, you know what we should he's like, we need to put in our brain calendars. He's like, we need to talk about how each of us approaches the concept of debt, and money management overall. Like, how do you feel about debt? What are your thoughts on debt? Like, when it comes to your money -- 

Anica:

You're getting real real.

Lia:

We're getting real real. Shit's getting real intense over here. But, like, yeah, that's a conversation that we're gonna have to have. Because, I mean, what is it? Like, a a huge majority of the fights that couples have are about money?

Anica:

Oh, outrageously. Yes.

Lia:

Outrageous, the the highest number. The

Anica:

overwhelming amount. I don't know.

Lia:

And so to get into a relationship -- 

Anica:

65% of statistics are made up anyway.

Lia:

Yes. But the but it's like, oh, I'm I'm embarrassed about how much student debt I have. And so I'm just not gonna bring that up till after we get married. Wrong. Or I have a secret shopping addiction, and I've got $20,000 in credit card debt because I can't control myself. But I'm not gonna bring that up until after we get married.

Anica:

Yeah. Yeah.

Lia:

Psycho. No. Don't do that. Talk about it. Upfront. But the the fear comes from like, well, what if this means this relationship isn't gonna work out?

Anica:

Then it wasn't meant to work out.

Lia:

Then it – if something as significant as money, is a thing that's going to cause you not to be together? You should probably not be together. Yeah. Probably. Don't.

Anica:

Or if you're not mature enough to have the conversations about it and find a solution that allows you to be together, then you're not ready to be in that relationship.

Lia:

No. I always tell people, if you can't talk about sex, you shouldn't be having it.

Anica:

Oh, yes. That's the conversation I've had multiple times. 

Lia:

If you can't talk about sex…

Anica:

If you’re too ashamed to talk about it, then you shouldn't asking for it.

Lia:

Now now don't don't do it. Come in. Both eyes open. I was totally that person where I was like, If I just don't think about it, then I won't feel shame.

Anica:

I don't think about it doesn't exist.

Lia:

Yeah. No. Un- so untrue. So no. You have to be able to talk about these things and and be accountable if if we wanna go and change our lives. So I recently hired back my, I went so I used to do competitive body building many years ago. And I went back to the same company that I trained with and got a trainer and she's fabulous. But it's like, I'm I'm 3 weeks into my new programming, and kind of all these lifestyle changes. And I and you have to do a daily journal, which is great. But I was like, the muscle memory of like, oh, yeah. This is a lifestyle change. I have to behave differently. I remember what that was like. If I want to get these results, I have to change, I can't just hire a trainer and then be like, Oh, Tada. Now that I have a trainer, my behavior is different, and I am I am different. It's like, no.

Anica:

That's, again, that's all about the accountability piece. That's why people that's why so many people stop when it comes to the actual the practical, the putting things into action. Like, where how am I going to achieve this?

Lia:

Yes.

Anica:

What am I willing to do. You know? I you mentioned it earlier, but I do I love that quote. Like, the cost of your new life is your old life.

Lia:

Yes.

Anica:

you, you, if you, if you were going to move into this new season, if you were going to level up, if you're gonna be bigger, better, hotter, cooler, faster, stronger, more

Lia:

of Kanye.

Anica:

My life is dope and I do dope. Can I say this? Can I say it? Yeah. Yeah. My life is dope and I do dope shit. Yes. Like, if you're

Lia:

gonna -- -- the dope shit. In order to be dope, you have to do dope shit.

Anica:

And it's hard to do dope shit, and it's scary to do dope shit.

Lia:

Yes. Because don't -- -- is not just I'm gonna I I don't know why, but I I'm beginning to recognize that everyone's online experience is different because of, like, the algorithmic concepts of, like, the For You page, because I get a ton of this, like, why would I go to therapy when a plane to the Caribbean is only $200? It's like, 1, that's unfair. 2, lots of reasons. 3, it it gives me this, like, not necessarily FOMO, but, like, all of a sudden, this external expectation of high volume international travel. And so I'm like, well, If I'm gonna do dope shit, I need to be traveling to exotic locations on the regular. And it's like, that's not – traveling is dope. but the dope shit you gotta do… because that's the dope life. The dope shit you gotta do is, like, manage your budget effectively. You have to, right, time block. Yes. You have to have your schedule figured out. You have to know, like, I'm super lucky because with my job, I don't have, like, I've unlimited vacation days, and so because I work for myself mostly. And but it's like, I also have to have the the personal not sacrifice, but, like, strength of scheduling. I have to have discipline in order to be like, well, if I'm gonna take a week off to go to the Caribbean, I either need to work while I'm there and have that kind of structure or I need to make sure that everything gets done and I'm saved enough money and I do all the things and I'm totally there. That's the dope shit.

Anica:

Yeah. And it's it's not sexy and it's not fun and it's not exciting and you don't wake up like, oh my gosh. I can't wait to do my budget today.

Lia:

I mean, I have a, I have created an an addiction to Excel spreadsheets. that I think is one of those good addictions because I do schedule it in every week. I'm like, what? It's time to look at my finances.

Anica:

If it’s a good addiction, it's not an addiction. It's a habit. It's all about spin.

Lia:

Okay. So an addiction is only something that negatively impacts your life, and a habit is something that positively impacts your life.

Anica:

You heard it here first. Hot take.

Lia:

You heard it here first, Anika Bell. Giving us the tea. Interesting. so we're in the culture that I grew up in. And in the world today, there's a people threw around the concept of addiction. I think too much. I think people overuse the term narcissist and addiction because everyone has narcissistic tendencies. That's just we've just replaced the term selfish with narcissist because there are things that I do that are absolutely selfish. 100%, because if I don't, I don't have strong boundaries. And being selfish with my time and my energy and my space and my resources is important for my success.

Anica:

Amen.

Lia:

Does that make me a narcissist? No. But, Do people have narcissistic tendencies at times or in different elements of their of the 6 relationships? Right? Some people narcisistic tendencies when it comes to their interpersonal relationships, with their money, with their time, with their career, all sorts of things. That the blanket statement, I think, is overused. In addition. Addiction. And especially I hear this with the corn addiction. You know what I'm talking about?

Anica:

I do not. The corn.

Lia:

Corn with a p?

Anica:

Uh-uh. Yes. Okay. I'm picking up what you're putting down.

Lia:

Some corn some corn addiction?

Anica:

Corn addiction.

Lia:

That people will talk about. Oh, so and so has an addiction. So and so has an addiction. And I wanna be like, A a there's a big difference between a 0 tolerance policy and addiction. Because I know plenty of people who exist in a space where the it's a 0 tolerance. Any any corn is too much corn. And so I think that's or like or drinking. I know a lot of people who for whether personal or religious reasons don't drink at all. A lot of those people are like, I don't care what you do with your life because you are an adult, and you have sovereignty over your own choices.

Anica:

That's a novel concept in 2023.

Lia:

But but some people are like, oh, you have a glass of wine every single night? you must have addiction. You so You, the devil. I think so. I think

Anica:

the important differentiation, like, yes, I think 100% if it's The difference between addiction and a habit, it's not necessarily it's not just whether or not it's good for you. Whether or not it's good for you is definitely a big part of it. but I think the most defining difference between an addiction and a habit is one of them requires an intense amount of discipline. And the other requires absolutely none.

Lia:

Yes.

Anica:

It's a habit if you say I'm going to wake up at 5 o'clock this morning, and I'm going to work out, and I'm going to journal, and I'm going to do all these things. And there are no excuses. This is my life. This is the thing that I do.

Lia:

But that

Anica:

is that's a habit. That's discipline.

Lia:

Yes.

Anica:

But when you're drinking and you're blackout drunk and you can't stop yourself or you can't stop eating and you have an addiction to food, and all of this is about a lack of discipline, a lack of boundary, a lack of personal accountability. and seeking something external.

Lia:

Yes.

Anica:

Real deep with it, but I think that the difference here that really matters is the discipline is if it requires discipline, then I, I constitute it as a habit. If not, then it's an addiction.

Lia:

Yes. And then there's all sorts of things that are in between. Like, if I there are some weeks when it's like, you know what? We're gonna have we're gonna have girls night Friday. We're gonna have brunch on Saturday, and we're gonna have a boozy pool time on Sunday. And now I've been drinking for 3 days in a row. And then I just don't the rest of the week. That's just choices. It's not like all of a sudden, oh, I'm an addict or, oh, I'm the habit of doing this. Habits are also things that we've developed over long periods of time. I would also suggest that addiction is something that's going to ruin your life. Like, a an alcohol addiction or a food addiction or corn addiction. Right? It's not an addiction unless it's like causing you to have a decreased value of life. Like, your quality of life decreases. Right? If you're addicted to food, and you and it's causing you to gain weight or to feel thoughts of shame or to not be able to operate your body the way that you want to That's now become a problem.

Anica:

Agreed.

Lia:

Right? If you're drinking and it's like, I have to I have to have a 6 pack of beers every single night, but it also causes me to be mentally unavailable until 11 AM the next morning every single day, and it's causing a decrease in my work productivity, now that's a problem.

Anica:

Yeah. And I think that's where the discipline comes in. Right? If you know that it's a problem, and you cannot stop doing it, that is an addiction.

Lia:

Yes. Oh, if you know it's a problem and you can't, not just I think and there's it's that willingness too. Like, I mean, with AA, it's always that the first step is acknowledging that there is a problem. Mhmm. But If you know it's a problem and you are unwilling or incapable of making a change, now you're in the danger zone.

Anica:

Yes. danger. Will Robinson.

Lia:

Danger. But to bring this all back together, to be brave enough to get uncomfy. Mhmm. To be brave enough to get uncomfy repeatedly. breaking that that addiction. Right? We could I don't know if you would say that we could go as far as saying that you were addicted to the external validation that you were receiving through this grind and burnout?

Anica:

yeah. I I don't, I mean.

Lia:

it might be a stretch, but still

Anica:

I don't think I would say I was addicted to it because I knew even what was happening that I didn't want it. I was like, well, this Why doesn't if this is good, why doesn't it feel better? Like, if my life is so great, why does it suck?

Lia:

Yes. If I'm being told my life is so great, why does it suck? And so changing jobs, moving across the country, committing having a strong commitment to putting yourself and your needs first. Mhmm. It’s scary?

Anica:

It is. It's terrifying.

Lia:

And how do you feel? It's been, what, a year?

Anica:

Almost. Almost here. I think 2 months from now will be a year.

Lia:

Okay. So you're, like, 10 months deep into this big scary change business. Yeah. How do you feel 10 months later? because let's face it. 10 months is not a lot of is not a long time.

Anica:

It's not. Yeah.

Lia:

How do you do

Anica:

these stupid things?

Lia:

How do you feel?

Anica:

I feel amazing. I cannot wait to wake up in the morning. I love what I do. I love the people that I work with. I love the challenges that I'm facing everyday. I love the fact that, like, I am exhausted in the best way when I come home every day. And not only am I exhausted, but I, I have, I have people that are 100% telling me that I have contributed to their success. And that that is so much more fulfilling to me than any paycheck that comes from closing any deal or any, like, winning any negotiation or, like, any anything, like, knowing when, when my reps come to me and they're like, thank you. I, I couldn't have done this without you when they're like, did you hear that I just broke this record? I'm like, This is amazing. This is why I do what I do. and it's so much more fulfilling.

Lia:

Incredible. The ability. Yes. I remember, like, there's I'll do a lot of things for money, but there's actually not a lot of things I would do for money too. I would do anything for love, but I won't do that. Like, there's actually a lot of things. I've had many experiences in my life where I was I was presented with the opportunity, and I'm talking millions – billion dollars.

Anica:

That is not a problem I've had at this point.

Lia:

Billion balance. Not that not that someone was like, I'll give you a $1,000,000,000 if you do this. but, like, the ability to be to have access to unimaginable amount of money. but by doing something that I wasn't gonna be fulfilled with doing, having a lifestyle, living a life, behaving in a in a role that was going to be deeply unfulfilling. Right? You walked away from a $1,000,000 in a day. and said, doesn't fulfill me. Yeah. Which I think is so empowering.

Anica:

It was.

Lia:

To have to know that, like, my happiness cannot be bought. It must be created.

Anica:

Hear that snaps.

Lia:

And I and I am the clay maker. I am the one sculpting my bliss life.

Anica:

And that that's where it could like, that's you're absolutely right. Like, the lie like, I'm going to design this life. I'm going to say this is what I want. And that's what's terrifying to a lot of people because what if I make the wrong choice?

Lia:

Yes.

Anica:

What if I designed the wrong thing? And you know what?

Lia:

And that's where I come back to. You are one decision away from a completely different life. You can make a decision.

Anica:

Sometimes you just gotta yell plot twist and move on.

Lia:

I do a different thing. I was talking with my boyfriend about, like, long, long term plans about our living situation. Like, we're talking, like, 5, 10 years in the future, and it was mostly just speculatory. But it's like, okay. We kinda have 2 we kinda have 2 goals. Like, we kind of have 2 big plans that are fairly contradictory to each other.

Anica:

Okay.

Lia:

But because it's 5 years in the future or 10 years in the future, we just say, let us actively move towards both of those things, simultaneously because right now there's not any big decisions being made that are going to interrupt one or the other. Right? We haven't hit the crossroads yet.

Anica:

Right.

Lia:

And so let's just continue to move towards 2 things that we really, really want. And I'm just gonna keep making choices. that are gonna take me in that general direction. When the moment comes down to it, I know that the universe will stop me from moving towards one path and open the way for the other path that is the right path to be mine.

Anica:

I couldn't agree more. I think that we get so lost in, like, the binary between, like, this is the right thing, and this is the wrong thing. And this is the right thing that we forget. The fact that, the options that are available to us today are not always going to be the same options that are available to us 5 years, 10 years, 15 years, 30 years in the future. Right? You never know what kind of when you're creating your bliss life, you don't know what doors you're gonna open. You don't know what roads are gonna present themselves. And you know what? You might not love what you're doing 10 years from now, and you might have to adjust

Lia:

Yes. Or even 1 year from now.

Anica:

I think what people lose is like, that is life. Yes. That is what living your life is. It is making the commitments. It is standing in your truth. It is making a decision exploring what you what happens when it doesn't go the right way. figuring out who you are, when things are good, and when things are bad, and who is there for you, when things are good, and when they are bad. And that is What living is.

Lia:

Yes.

Anica:

Anything else is –

Lia:

-- You can change your mind a thousand times, and you don't have to answer to anybody. – Yes. – As long as the decisions that you're making stem from your truth and aren't like, well, this guy that I really like thinks I should do this, so I'm gonna do it. That's not your truth. That's not your truth. Unless it is. Unless he happens to be in alignment with the thing that you truly want in your heart of hearts, But

Anica:

This is my skeptical face.

Lia:

Here here's a I'm a we're gonna we're gonna wrap up with A very overly personal example. So -- I love this. -- my boobs. Got a boob job because I was dating a guy that was like, you should get a boob job. And I was like, it wasn't on my radar before, but, yeah, that's something I could want.

Anica:

Now that you mentioned it.

Lia:

To mention it, sure. I'll go ahead and drop $8000 on a procedure that will permanently impact my life for the foreseeable future?

Anica:

We've been together for 4 months. Why not? What could possibly go wrong?

Lia:

And it wasn't even, like, I need you to do this for me, but it was like that that that undercurrent of pressure. Mhmm. I was also incredibly thin when we were dating. Granted, I have always had huge boobs. And so why? Why? Why? But on the path that I was on, it was like okay. Sure. It was not my truth, but it was something that I was easily swayed into making a decision on. Now 7 years later. I'm like, get these things out of me. I hate this. It was not. Yeah. And Okay. So even if that was my tweet at the time, even if I was like, this body augmentation is exactly what I wanna do. I can change my mind. I am not trapped in this decision.

Anica:

Yeah. And I like, that was good. I that was I was gonna challenge on that and say, like, you know what? It was your truth. Even if it was your truth for the moment, it's allowed to be your truth for the moment. Until you have more information and you figure out how it went and go, no, thanks. Not for me.

Lia:

Actually, never mind.

Anica:

Yeah. Yeah. thanks. Bye.

Lia:

So there is always the option to change your mind. There's always the option to make a different choice.

Anica:

I had an incredible mentor tell me once, nothing except death and having children is permanent. Yes. Yes. It is permanently changed. Mhmm. Permanently changed the way that I look at any kind of decision. It's like -- 1st and death.

Lia:

The only things that can't be truly undone.

Anica:

F around and find out, man, let's get weird with it. Let's see where this incredible journey can take us.

Lia:

Right.

Anica:

Yeah. I love it.

Lia:

I love it. I love it. I love it. Alright. This episode, like most episodes, is sponsored by Lunar Herbals, check out LunarHerbals.com, use the code LIA the number 10 for a discount. I start my morning every morning. I did a hot girl walk this morning. took my coffee and protein shake with my lunar herbals mixed in so that I can have unlimited energy, the elixir of bliss, And, Nick, I'll bring you some.

Anica:

I love it.

Lia:

They have a elixir of Bliss, which is like a coffee replacement, a mushroom mocha, which is a chocolate, like a hot chocolate option.

Anica:

Oh, I think I tried this that night.

Lia:

Yeah. The night you slept over! party impromptu sleepover party.

Anica:

before party night.

Lia:

Oh, fine. The night that the night is at --

Anica:

I've been needing to ask you what that was.

Lia:

Yes. Delicious. They also make a midday aphrodisiac pick me up.

Anica:

Okay.

Lia:

And a nighttime tea. This is what I'm getting everybody for Christmas. So if you are in my inner circle, get ready for some lunar herbals. From me, and they're delicious. but to

Anica:

delay a version of the Tom Cruise cake?

Lia:

Yes. Yes. I I have no qualms with that. Yes.

Anica:

I love it.

Lia:

So check out all the things. Anica is also on LinkedIn, killing it, Find me on LinkedIn. We're on the Instagrams, buy the book, check out all of the fabulous things, and go master your bliss life. Woo hoo. Can't love you guys. See you real soon. Bye.

Anica:

Love you. Bye.

Ending:

You have been listening to Master Your Bliss Life. Make sure to check out the show notes for any relevant links and follow Kiera and Lia on Instagram and LinkedIn.