Ep.76- Break Gender Stereotypes with Ryan Rosado

In this episode, Lia is joined by guest Ryan Rosado, and they discuss various topics surrounding gender dynamics, experiences in different industries, and leaning into the cycle of taking time for yourself. They explore the challenges women face in the tech and legal fields, the importance of representation in the cybersecurity industry, and the ongoing issue of workplace harassment. Throughout the episode, they discuss personal stories and highlight the need for women to support and uplift each other. Listen in to see what you can do about societal norms and striving for positive change. Grab your headphones, find a cozy spot, and dive into today's enlightening conversation on the Master Your Bliss Life Podcast. Let's get started!

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Host: Lia Bliss on LinkedIn and Instagram

Guest: Ryan Rosada on LinkedIn and  Instagram 

Find Lia’s book here: Everything Is Your Fault by Lia Bliss

Podcast Manager: Kimberly Smith

Transcript

You’re listening to Master Your Bliss Life. Join Kiera Masters and Lia Bliss as they dive into the magical, mysterious, and mundane elements of life, helping you to master your purpose and find your bliss.

Lia:

Record. Here we go. Hello. We were talking to all the hot girls out there on their walks because this is the best podcast for hot girl walking. I'm here with Ryan Rosado. She is you wanna tell everybody? How do you how do you identify yourself? What are your identifiers?

Ryan:

Oh, well, I definitely let people know just especially with the first name being Ryan since everybody and their mother lets me know that, apparently, it's a boy's name. I always have been and always will be a woman. I am a a her she, like the chocolate bar. Sweet and kidding. Nope. Silly joke. I yeah. I that's me. Some people would say I also identify as a badass mother – can I curse on here?

Lia:

Yeah. Yes. Yes. You may. A badass mother.

Ryan:

Some people would say I identify as a badass mother eff-er. So, I'm still welcoming that title.

Lia:

You're in good company. We'll encourage all of the badassery.

Ryan:

So, but yeah. No. I I also would tell you that I'm originally from New York, But I've been living in Texas for over a 3rd of my life, so I joke that I'm a 3rd Texan. And, yeah, I, most people would say I'm a a free spirit.

Lia:

We love that. And she is single.

Ryan:

I am. Single.

Lia:

It's all of a sudden start sounding like one of those dating videos where you're like, I'm looking for a but right? This is not the point here. And you so you and I met oh, how long has it been?

Ryan:

It's in a month exactly? A month exactly. Was it was I think it was day 1. No. I take it back. It was day 2. So it was 1 month of tomorrow At a conference.

Lia:

At a conference in Las Vegas. I meet all my best friends in Las Vegas.

Ryan

And Oh, that sounds like the the start of a great song for Shania Twain.

Lia:

Yes. Somebody needs to sing that song. Okay. Let's write that. We'll table that for later. But it was a technology conference. And I will say So I was at 2 conferences in Vegas in the last month. One of them was for technology, and one of them was for the legal industry.

Lia:

And the stark almost night and day contrast in the Women. There I would say it was about an 80 20 split, 20% women, 80% men at the tech conference that we were at.

Ryan:

Yeah. It is pretty heavy on the male side.

Lia:

A big sausage fest.

Ryan:

And a lot of the women nothing wrong with that. But I would say a lot of them when I ran into were more on the marketing side too. It wasn't even like they were part of the technical, team. But, of course, they make things happen and are totally enabling All the great things that were technical.

Lia:

Right. Right. And I just but to be a woman working in the tech industry, whether you're in marketing or sales or working on the technical side of tech. It was interesting because then I went to this legal conference, and it was the opposite split where it was 80% women and 20% men. And it was just there was less I feel like women in tech still really feel a sense of, like, They gotta play the boys game, and they really have to show up in their masculine whereas in the legal side, I really that everyone was way more relaxed into their feminine, which good, bad, ugly, in between, whatever, it that was my observations.

Ryan:

It's interesting you said it because I feel like I've been at a crossroads too. Right? Like, I'm definitely proud to be, a woman. I don't know if it's politically correct anymore, but I also sometimes am like a tomboy. But at the end of the day, I just wanna be me, and I find that more so, I think I'm more aware of it. I don't know if it's actually happening more often. I wouldn't in the industry, that's something I've Thought a lot about, but I do find that I think being a woman in itself, it makes the job harder in a lot of ways. I think it can be basic it can just be as basic as, like, if someone doesn't like you, all of a sudden, you're controversial. So you have an opinion they don't like instead of just being having an opinion. It's been interesting the last few years, especially because, keep in mind, with the pandemic. I think that kind of may you know, kind of Brought everyone to the to it's like it was even. I mean, we're all on the same page. What?

Lia:

It equalized things a little bit.

Ryan:

It kinda did. There definitely are some Studies that showed, like, everything from workplace racism and sexual harassment obviously went down, which would sound ideal, but it's unfortunate that It wasn't sustainable maybe, if you know what I mean. Like, we're all going back to the office, and these things are now happening again, unfortunately, for people. So, I think when it comes to being a woman in a male dominated group field, the one message I've kind of realized in my own journey is, first of all, I love men. I have nothing against men. I love women. I have nothing against women. There's some bad apples in both groups.

Lia: 

Yes.

Ryan:

And or ones I don't love. I also say I'm probably the bad guy in someone's story as well. Like, that's just part of the human experience. But where I think the problem lies in this industry is when men tell women you can't do what we're doing because you're a woman. Like, that's definitely the line in the sand. And if women wanna go into cyber or don't wanna go into cyber, right, we want them to have the right to say whatever the heck they wanna do is what they get to do.

Lia:

Yes. And there's no It's it's not like you're inherently better at something in that realm based on gender. I think that would be wild. 

Ryan:

Product, or, like, yes, technical expertise, there's no longer any actual, you know, statistics that say 1 is actually better than the other. There are some things that say, yeah, women might be better in something and men might be better, but there's none that says women can't. And, also, I think those findings are constantly changing because the world we’re in  is constantly changing, and everyone's constantly adapting. But Like, for one of the things I was reading this really great book was, you know, especially when you're in, like, elementary school, if there's a picture of a scientist… When there's only a picture of a male scientist, girls, by the time they're 6, believe that girls can't be scientists because there's no visualization. Or there's no there's no nothing to kind of identify with, which is why I think having just pictures or women in leadership positions is so important so that the next generation has something to look forward to or look like, be able to envision, and other people can envision it as well.

Lia:

Yes. Where where it almost gets into the subconscious of, like, this is normal. We've seen this. We've experienced this. It's not the 1st touchpoint of this concept. Right? The it's not the 1st time you see a woman doctor is when you are trying to become a woman doctor, but that you have known and seen and experienced them.

Ryan:

But cheers to the first. For sure.

Lia:

Yeah. Because that's the hardest. First.

Ryan:

I've actually had probably one of the moments I hold near and dear to my heart was a few years ago. I was on a female veterans panel.

Lia:

Mhmm.

Ryan:

And I was speaking about how I did face some sexual harassment in the military. And there was a woman there who definitely got out way before I ever went in, and she was in for 20 years and over 20 years, I was one of the 1st women in a leadership position in the army medical. – Mhmm. –  And she literally had tears in her eyes and was like, I had hoped that everything, like, I went through and my generation went through, would have paved the way so you guys didn't have to go through it. And it was heartbreaking for her to realize, like, 20 something years later, people that went in, like, 10 years ago, were still dealing with women were still dealing with a lot of the same treatment. And, I think it's hard not to lose hope.

Lia:

Yeah.

Ryan:

That this will never change. And I can tell you I've had those days. But, I think right now where I'm at in my journey is trying to advocate and bring attention to it because the peep there there's the there's the bad apples that believe Women can't do cyber or they have a very narrow vision of who gets to be in this cult almost, or as they may put it, which it's not, and it shouldn't be because we need a lot more people in it. But then you have this, like, probably 80%. And I'm not saying men of people who don't really think that this problem exists anymore because they don't see it. They don't even realize what it looks like. You know, they don't they're doing their job. They're and they're respecting women, and they're encouraging women, and they're just hunky dory. And I kid you not, I had a conversation last And and someone was like, I thought these problems that women were facing at least in cybersecurity and technology were done 15 years ago, and I haven't been doing this 15 years. So.

Lia:

Right? And it's hard to create awareness and visibility. Again, it's all about visibility when and and not shout about it or become kind of right turn it into a witch hunt where you don't wanna Be angry about it, but you do wanna bring attention to it, but you don't wanna necessarily have that. 

Ryan:

There's a flip side risk. If I'm constantly bringing attention to it, people will question if I'm the problem.

Lia:

Yes. Yes. There's so –

Ryan:

Where a lot of other women stay quiet or keep their head down or don't wanna get involved. Right? And so I think I think it's important that, you You know, women try to branch together even if they don't understand or agree or have the same experience that and I think that's the other thing. A lot of people, I think, especially in cyber, will hear 1 woman in cyber give her story. – Mhmm. – And then somehow assume that all women have the same collective identity and have the same collective challenges and have the same collective skill sets or whatever. And I'm not angry at those women, But I am frustrated because that's not my identity either. Like, in my identity, no one else may have my identity. Right? I am a person just like there's not 1 male identity in any industry.

Ryan:

There's no one doctor. There's – Yes. – no one Nurse. There's no one and and the thing that's important, I think, for the listeners is as I say doctor, scientist, nurse, Meteorologist. What comes to your mind first, a woman or a man? CEO, CISO, right, chief information security officer, lawyer? Like, what genders come to mind first for the different ones? And I think just starting with that kind of awareness that whatever comes first, like, both should come to mind equally. Surgeon.

Lia:

And that's our opportunity to because that's where the not paying attention. Right? Well, I never thought about that. I thought this problem had gone away where we all independently get to take a pause and say, when you say meteorologist, when you say Gynecologist, what is the I what the gender identity of that person, and how can I work on actively being inclusive with my own mind?

Ryan: 

Right. There's this great thing. I I did the LinkedIn learning. I haven't been able to read her book yet. Again, I've been super busy. Her name is, Bushika Tulshyan, and she's a DEI advocate to diversity, equity, inclusion. And in this LinkedIn learning about how to be a better advocate for everyone, not just women, Asian, black. I'm let's I'm also Spanish. Right? I'm Puerto Rican. All of it. Disabled is another thing I'm really passionate about, but all of the identities, All the minorities. All of them. Mhmm. The one thing she she basically honed in is, basically, part of having this growth mindset is knowing you're probably gonna mess up. You may say someone's name wrong, especially if it's very diverse. You may use the wrong pronouns.

Ryan:

Right? As you know, the key is obviously, 1, don't do it on purpose. Like, don't do that. – Yes. – But second of all, like, apologize and, you know, just say, well, what's the right way? Teach me. Be open minded. I think people are waiting for some big colossal action or movement, And I'm a believer that it takes, like, all these little almost like if you blink, you wouldn't even realize actions or change of words. Right? Like, one thing But more of a professional pet peeve is when someone calls someone on like, that's an employee a resource. No. They're a person or a teammate. Right? And there's leadership books that talk about how important does that type of vocabulary can change the culture and can unify groups and make them more, productive and successful in the long run as a group. Right? And so it's just these these words that these –

Lia:

I don’t want someone to call me is a resource Or, like, the right? Even “team member” is better than inanimate object.

Ryan:

Yes. But, again, I you have to have grace to know that these people are probably not doing it intentionally. Again, it's coming from a culture.

Lia:

Yes.

Ryan:

Our society big culture, not a a company culture. Big societal culture. And, especially in the world we live in, you have people of different generations, And so there's a lot of influences. And they're not it's I don't think they're all innately bad, but there's some that are better than others. And if you're striving for success, I think and you're striving to be a good, you know, great not good, great leader, great manager, great in your role in your community. I think these are the the small and they're they're easy. They're you might not get it right right away, but I'd rather try and change my Just a few words at a time, then some grand big old change because that's harder to keep sustainable.

Lia:

Yes. It's that slow and steady. It's that small changes over time. And this is where we can have a lot of intention to making the effort and move forward.

Ryan:

It does begin with effort. I don't think any of this is possible If you're not making it. And the thing is you have to make the effort, and I think the unfortunate part about that is there are people, though, that don't see the point. Well, why would I make the effort? Like, I have enough on my plate or I Why, you know, why make the effort? And I think that if you're asking that question, I just feel like you're on the wrong end of this because the truth is there's a lot of unfortunate things happening in our world, And the world is a crazy place. And why not? Why not just do that little bitty it, that much more?

Lia:

A little bit of effort. I really think that's important because we've highlighted what's where putting in effort makes a difference. But I also wanna flip that completely over and talk about where we should absolutely release effort. We talked about before we got on the call, we talked about you trying to sell your house and whether and lesafair. You know what? There are 2 things that we should put small and simple efforts towards making a big impact, But there are other things I just had a a call with a team member and that was the whole thing like you're making this too big of a deal and you need to chill the fuck out. Let that go. And so the right? The dichotomy of what's important to put small effort into and where can we subsidize things that we don't actually need to put effort into. Because I know when we met, you talked about, like, traveling internationally, solo as a female, and just being able to be like, whatever happens, happens. Release control.

Ryan:

I think I also mentioned it happened to be in Morocco during the earthquake. Right? Like.

Lia:

Yeah. So, like, not even just Single, female, traveling internationally by herself, but also during a major world event.

Ryan:

Yeah. Event. Disaster. Yeah. I would say that the answer, I think, to that all is, first of all, having balance. And that's not easy to have. Actually, one of my favorite authors who does a lot of TED Talks, Adam Grant, he actually says more so from a work life perspective. A lot of people say work, life balance. He says it's more of a rhythm, and I love that because it's true. Sometimes, like, right now, it's, you know, the Q4. And whether it's the Q4 of business or the Q4 of a football game, you know it's gonna be intense. Okay? Keep that in mind. Regardless of what you do, Q4 Usually, it's intense. Right? And that means maybe you'll be doing 80% work. It won't be 50/50. And then depending on like you said, I'm single. I don't have kids, and so it might be easier for me than someone else who, let's say, has kids because school's in session and maybe kids get sick right there. Everyone everyone has a different plate, and you may not even know what the other person's going I always just, you know, say everyone has a story you know nothing about. And so that's why I actually love that he says rhythm because Sometimes your family might need you at 80 to a 100%. Maybe something great's happening like a wedding. Maybe something unfortunate happened like someone's in the hospital, and that's That's the reality of life. It's it is what it is. You know, and sometimes it's the opposite. Like I said, work's gonna need you that much more. Sometimes work has luls, etcetera, etcetera. So, there's another thing what?

Lia:

Right. It's like seasons because we're just moving into with her. And I read this study about when was a bunch of scientists that basically injected trees with tree serum. I don't know. It was essentially, like, dosing them with tree testosterone and all of these things to keep them producing and keep them in foliage through the whole year.

Ryan:

Oh, wow.

Lia:

And those trees died in 2 years because they didn't take the season to do the rest.

Ryan:

The hibernation or –

Lia:

The Right? And it's like that cyclical, and I think women are a lot more in tune with cyclical nature of things just generally. But, yeah, it's not about balance. Right, it's not 1 versus the other and finding the opposing force. It's about finding the rhythm of the cycle of things.

Ryan:

And so This year, I was definitely knocked off my balance. A very close aunt passed away. I was laid off, very surprised that had happened. And I had a relationship that broke up, if I'm being really honest. And they all happened pretty close to each other.

Lia:

That's –

Ryan:

And I found myself with a lot of time over the summer, but then with the economy. I kind of I got a little frozen with you know? Didn't know when that was gonna end. Wanted to be very conservative with funds, and My house is on the market, and so I just, it was kind of unclear. You know, I was actually interviewing for a job that I was looking forward to and hoping to move forward. It just didn't end up being the right fit. And so but, you know, one thing a great a great boss told me when I actually first heard the military was even though I found a job I loved, I had other people calling, and he's like, you always take the call. Right? Because once they stop calling, you probably become outdated and, Like, that's dangerous. But, you know, every call you take, don't assume you're gonna take the job. Right? And it could just be good practice. It could be good network. There have actually been people I've Interviewed with either I decided not to take the job or we decided they found a better candidate, which is fine. And we've just stayed in touch because it was still a good networking, good opportunity, and that's, I think, better than, you know, never talking to that person and kind of wasting at least an hour. So I'm definitely very big. Every this is an opportunity.

Lia:

Yes. This was once interviewed for a lady, not because she wanted a job at the company, but because she wanted to have the woman who was doing the interviewing as a mentor. And so it was like mentee interview secret ninja style.

Ryan:

Yeah. No. So, I mean, the problem I had over the summer was I just didn't know where I was gonna land. There was a lot of great companies I met with, and it was almost like of them had a completely different life. I interviewed with the company, and I would have possibly had to move to Arkansas. And I remember first thinking, I've never thought of moving to Arkansas. And then I thought, I can make that work. There's mountains. I can make that work. Oh, that was, you know, and then there was I talked to a company in Washington, you know, Seattle. And I thought at first, I was like, I don't know if I wanna move. And then I thought, I could make that work too. You know? And then I talked to someone for a brief moment potentially about a role where I would've had to move to Australia. And I'm definitely the kind of person where I'm like, why not? Like, well, living emotionally and having a job is a dream of mine. So that was, Like, oh my gosh. Yes, please. But didn't work out with some of the visa requirements in that role. But I lived and learned, and I made some really great relationships. And especially in cyber Security, you usually will come back to them. It's such a Yeah. It's a small enough industry, especially in the states that you just never know. People move and Things happen and mergers and acquisitions, etcetera, etcetera. So, but it was it was scary. But I have me, personally, I have had a rule for a long time that You don't let fears dictate your life. Like, it's healthy to have fears. I'm not saying don't have fears. Mhmm. I'm just saying you face your fears, and I'm not just saying you go crazy either. Like, you you think about it. You sit about it. You plan. And so one of the things that I did do over the summer was realize, like, okay.

Ryan:

When offers, that's plural, start coming in, like, the light at the end of the tunnel is here, there's another saying. And I look a lot by some, like, funny things, but to me, they're just it's just I've heard them and they've stuck. Another one is, you either have money or you have time. And for most people, I know that's very true. Unless you were and, you know, unless you retire with a lot of money, like, most people are either they're making money. They don't get a lot of PTO, and if they're off, like, they're laid off, they probably don't have a lot of money. Right? So, I Decided to plan. And I wanted to travel when the pandemic happened. I haven't really done a big trip in a long time. Mhmm. And I literally I kid you not. I just looked on a map, And I had just under 60,000 American airline miles from work I'd done with previous companies that I kept trying like, I would try to keep them alive and not them expire here in the pandemic. So I've had them for a long time. And I was like, can I go to Australia? Nope. Not enough points. Okay.

Ryan:

Can I go to Argentina? Yeah. I could go to Argentina. Okay. Put Argentina on the list. Can I go to, Italy? Nope. Can't go to Italy. Okay. Can I go to South Africa? No. Can't go to South Africa. Can I go to Madrid? And for some reason, all of a sudden, I was like, I can go to Madrid. And I was like for some reason, I liked that idea a bit a little bit better because I'd been to Madrid before. I've been to Spain. I spoke the language, and I wanted to speak the language. There's this saying in the bilingual community that you actually have a different personality for the different languages you speak.

Lia:

Yes.

Ryan:

Which is I don't know. I just I also I feel like sometimes when I think in Spanish, I'm just inspired differently, and I wanted that at that point in my life if that makes any sense at all. And so I went to Madrid because I've been there. I did a 2 day kinda like, let's see what's new, check it out, and then I went to a lot of new places. And then I I rented a car. So I went to Malaga by the fast train, spent a few days there, big Picasso fan, went to he's from there, which That's the only reason I went there. I was like, let me check out the Picasso stuff, and it's on the Mediterranean. I rented a car, and I was like, am I gonna like driving in Europe? Because I've never done that before. It's not the other side of the road, by the way. People keep asking me. It's not. I drove to Gibraltar, which is essentially an English settlement, so it's technically the UK, but it's really in Spain. That – The locals call it Jib. So if you wanna be cool, it's Jib.

Lia:

Jib got oh, write that down.

Ryan:

Yeah. I spent a weekend in Tarifa, which is the most southern point of Spain, and then I took a ferry to Morocco, which Most people don't realize how close that is, but I took a ferry, just, like, an hour long to Africa. Yeah. And I spent that was interesting. I'd actually never traveled somewhere that, Northern Morocco treats women actually kinda awful. Single women. And that in itself is an experience, but that's part of it. Just, it not every place is gonna be great. Not every dish is gonna be amazing. That's kind of part of it, and I also have another rule when I'm in each place that I I like to get lost. Like, I'll walk around in a city, you know, and, I mean, I have my wits about me, I think, so I've never landed in any danger. But I usually try to find, like, where it's also no longer the touristy parts. Yes. Yes. I think that in itself scares people. People don't are not comfortable getting lost.

Ryan:

They're not comfortable with Certainty. But, anyway, I walked around Northern Morocco, a place called Tangier or Tanheer. Fun fact, they speak mostly French, which I don't speak, but that was Really cool. And I was in another place called then Chef Shohan, which is actually really amazing in Northern Morocco. Totally different culture for just 2 hours south. And it's actually all painted blue, and it just came up when I was doing my research. Oh, yeah. Super cool place. Really cool history. And then I took a 5 almost 5 and a half hour train down to Marrakech, and I got there at, like, 3 PM. I walked around. I Saw the old Medina. I had some dinner, checked it out, and earthquake happened at 11:11 that night.

Lia:

And how big was it?

Ryan:

On the scale, it was a 6.8 or a 6.9. 

Lia:

So big enough? 

Ryan:

It was. And I remember some people were like, oh, that's nothing. I was in Japan, and they have, like, 7 eights, but the key to remember is that Japan's Built properly. They have the buildings that just kind of wave. You know? They don't crumble. They're very accustomed to it. Morocco had not had an earthquake of size potentially, like, ever, but in at least 100 years.

Lia:

Literally buildings crumbling around you.

Ryan:

Oh, yeah. Buildings that were there that afternoon were not there the next day. And it was really interesting and wild just to kind of be there, and I'm not one, though, that's gonna, like, freak out. I actually think I do really well under pressure. I kinda joked I should add that to my resume, like, does well under pressure was at the Moroccan earthquake epicenter.

Lia:

I saw somebody put their divorce on their resume for the same reasons. And I was like, oh, yeah. That Holy tracks.

Ryan:

Did you see that? Oh, I put that on my profile over the summer. I couldn't believe that some people thought that was great. Some people thought that was wildly terrible. Don't do that, but I just found that very funny. So yeah. But no. And then, you know, I was supposed to have, like, 5 days in Morocco doing all sorts of activities, and so all of a sudden I had to shift. And I once again, like, first of all, I can't get the Marrakesh airport was just sold out and people were there and it was a wild circus. So I just somehow figured out if I get to the Casa Blanca airport and go back on the train, I can get out better and quicker. And actually the train stopped on the way there, and it was, actually, that was somehow more scary because I had no idea what's going on and, like, no one spoke the language. So that was that was really intense for me. The train just lost power in the middle of nowhere. – Did that – So, yeah, that was a double whammy. And I literally got to the airport, like, 1 in the morning and had to wait until, like, my flight took off at 7, but Casablanca was way different. They they barely had a scratch on them. It felt like I was forever away. And I had found that I could fly to Bordeaux, France, And I just thought, why not? I love wine and France. It was just close. Like, again, I looked at the map, and I was like, well, I don't wanna go back to Spain. Like, I did my Spain thing. And I love Spain and I of course, there's more to do in Spain, but, no, I'm not going back. Like, we're on an adventure.

Lia:

We're on an adventure.

Ryan:

And then I was going to end in Portugal. And I was like, I don't wanna Portugal early. Like, I have my Portugal stuff planned, and so I went to France. And it was awesome. Like

Lia:

Awesome.

Ryan:

Not trying to be not sympathetic to what happened in Morocco, but there was nothing I could do. I actually tried to donate blood, and they're so unprepared. They actually were like, we don't have anywhere to store the blood. Like, yeah, we need it, but we have nowhere else to store it. Like, it was just really sad and Wow. The best thing that you can do, I think, In that situation of the tourist was to leave and, like Yes. Let them go with it. And, I mean, it was really heartbreaking. And if there was something I could've done, I promise you I would've done it, but there was nothing I could've to help. And the bigger issue was, like, with aftershocks coming, you didn't wanna be there if god forbid something else happened. Like, – Yeah. – It was just a lot, but I went to Bordeaux. I had an awesome time. It was a lovely surprise. I kinda it's one of those things you love it when things just don't go as planned because it kind of went A little better. 

Lia:

And there’s that balance. On the one hand. Right? We have to do things with intention. But on the other hand, you just have to let it happen.

Ryan:

Yes. I always say it's good to have a plan, but life rarely goes as planned as long as you have a direction.

Lia:

Yes. Yes.

Ryan:

That was very true in in my, in my experience to that. And then I ended in Portugal, and then I came back, and that was just, that was the trip. And then I started adventure, a professional adventure, and, I'm definitely on it. So Right?

Lia:

And so you had you fulfilled that cycle, right, where you were work and then All of a sudden, you have a whole bunch of time. That's like, alright. Let's take that time. And instead of just sitting and wallowing in The badness. Right? We can we all end up like that scene from Legally Blonde where she's sitting in the bed, eating chocolates, watching TV. Right? We can all end up there.

Ryan:

I love that reference.

Lia:

But we can't but we or we could just go to Europe.

Ryan:

Well no. I think it's important to say, like, you have to deal with your Emotions, you have to feel them, especially in today's day and age with all the

Lia:

Yes.

Ryan:

Mental health positive. We're having. I think more people really do need to deal with them, but that doesn't mean you just stop and, Like, let it rule your life. You know? I dealt with the sadness of each of the things that happened, and I was almost saying I think it's almost, Like, meant to be. Like I said, I I had a passing, of a family member at a breakup, and I had being being laid off. And I just, had to deal with that. But and there was that legally blonde, like, seen at one point. It didn't last long because I just like, okay.

Ryan:

Like, we're not gonna do this. I actually went to the pool that was with people's last week.

Lia:

You did.

Ryan:

I did just on some some of my and some it's actually really cool. It's an opinion piece. So it added to my credibility, and I did things like that. Read some books. Obviously, did a lot of interviews. And then, yeah, now, you know, just trying to move along and chug along and continue like, we talked about before with effort, Just try to be better and try to help those, you know, all around me. I'm not saying I'm perfect at it, and I'm not saying I get everything right because I know I don't. And I think I put my foot in my mouth, but I don't think I did that here today.

Lia:

But that's but that's the grace. Right? So right. This whole thing is all cyclical because it's like, We have to honor the experiences whether we've successfully represented women or we've maybe misstepped. We can give ourselves grace in knowing the effort. We can try again next time. We can understand that we're gonna have those eat chocolates in bed, scream with the TV day, and then we're gonna find ourself accidentally in France.

Ryan:

Yes. And I think, right, as long as you're moving forward or you're moving in some direction in life… I think a lot of people just kinda get stuck. And I think that's sad, and I wanna help them. And I kinda joke on social media. I don't know if you've Yeah. But I say that I'm not an influencer. I'm an inspiration, or at least I hope to be.

Lia:

Yes. Yes. Because I think there's something to be said about seeing women doing a thing that is somehow a subconscious permission slip for other women.

Ryan:

It is. And that's I think even, you know, probably have to have another conversation about it, but there's something to be said about, You know, men versus women or what men, you know, think of women or where, you know, how they think that they should be in the world. There's a whole different conversation there. They're definitely like a dichotomy, I think, amongst women. Again, if you wanna be a stay at home mom kind of thing, I think that's great. But I don't have that calling, and I don't want someone to shame me for it. And it doesn't mean that one day when I have family that I don't love my kids. I just have a different approach. I actually hope to be a really strong inspiration and role model to my kids, both Male and female. Because there's also some weird belief in the world that women can only inspire other girls and women.

Lia:

Yes.

Ryan:

And I'm telling you, like, Men have inspired me, and women have inspired me. And I hope to inspire men, women, younger For children. I mean, I think that we just put so many odd barriers in life that are just man made and really don't have value.

Lia:

Yes. I asked my son, so he's 9. And I asked him the other day because he said something about something being what girls like. And I was like, oh, okay. Learning opportunity. I was like, son, you know, what what do girls like? Like, women, what do what do women like? And he said, Dead ass. He said the gym and work. Yes. Okay.

Ryan:

Oh wow.

Lia:

I'm doing great. Mom, win. But where that is, like, I can be a representation and an example to a young boy who can grow up in a world where his expectation and view of women doesn't have to be tainted by the female expectation.

Ryan:

Right. And I think we're seeing that, like, especially in sports where, I don't know if you know who Becky Hammond is, but she was, she's an all time all star for the women's NBA, and then she was an Associate coach for the Spurs on the male side. And there's a lot of conversation. She was, you know, applying to be a head coach. And, a lot of people were like, wait. A woman being a head coach of the men? And it's like, yeah. Why why not? Right?

Lia:

Oh yes, I did see that.

Ryan:

You know? And then there were something being said, like, well, can she inspire little boys in basketball? And it's like, absolutely. Why not? I mean, we all have we all have challenges. We all have things we have to overcome. Whether or not people know about it. It really doesn't make the difference. There's so there were still challenges people had to overcome. And I think the fortunate and unfortunate thing about life is there's gonna be challenges, And I think we have to embrace those challenges.

Lia:

Absolutely. Well, we could obviously talk about this for the rest of the day, but the walk is over. Hot girls, you made it, and hot boys and hot couples. We sit in my boyfriend's house and look out the window and watch the hot couples, like, the old, old hot couples walk by in their seventies down the street. It's the cutest thing. But, I hope you enjoyed this podcast. This podcast, like all podcast, is sponsored by Lunar Herbals. Check out the show notes.

Lia:

And then if you wanted to get in touch with Ryan, what's the best way to do that?

Ryan:

I definitely love LinkedIn.

Lia:

We love LinkedIn here.

Ryan:

Where you can find me professionally, but I'm also on Instagram. And, my handle is a force to be Ryaned with, no spaces.

Lia:

Incredible. Force to be

Ryan:

It's kinda like a force to be reckoned with, but So, hopefully, it makes sense.

Lia:

Love it. Okay. We'll put that in the show notes so you can find Ryan on Instagram or on LinkedIn, preferably both. I feel like the Personas, I try to keep them both authentic, but both different.

Ryan:

Yes. I think, boundaries is increasingly important. I don't think our generation had as much. We did not have the luxury of understanding the the luxury of privacy, but, Yes. There definitely are different I wouldn't even call them different personas. They're just different sides. Sometimes it's the same. You know? When I I may post on Instagram at a work thing or conference. But sometimes you just see a different side. You know, you might see me kayaking on Instagram and on my LinkedIn, you might see the article I just wrote. So Perfect.

Lia:

Jumping her that, and we'll see y'all real soon. Bye.

You have been listening to Master Your Bliss Life. Make sure to check out the show notes for any relevant links and follow Kiera and Lia on Instagram and LinkedIn.